-every game is totally random:
Pretty much, but the general idea is the same, however every game IS random, just the far out there things are kind of rare, but you can cause them. (e.g. war with other races, compared to just ambushes and seiges by goblins.)
-start out small and get bigger and bigger
Uhhhh... The MAP doesnt expand but your fortress can grow huge, it is VERY unlikely that you are gonna use the ENTIRE embark (maybe the entirety of two z-levels, but even then you would have to be extravagent.)
-You have some functions to get things done automatically
Ok, this one is a little difficult to explain.
At the start you have some micromanagement, having to order chairs and that to be built, but a little later on ( a little as in IMMEDIETLY) you can assign a dwarf to be a manager (and build there required rooms) and get a much better menu where the micro decreases substantially (though still requires SOME observance, as it isnt fool-proof, e.g. craftdorf workshops that only use stone may get spammed with "make wooden nestbox"
Thats whats in NOW, however its planned (like #1 on the eternal suggestions) to have better command chains, e.g. If drinks go under 300, make more drinks.
- you have very deep production chain
Hmm, well, you have to melt your ore into bars, then you can make whatever. (pretty much the ONLY production chain in dorf fort.) It isnt very deep honestly, but its preferable like this, basically you just need a rescource, and then you can use that rescource with the workshop that you need to use. There are some exceptions, mainly the metal industry, for bigger production chains.
- you can play peacefully if you want
Yes, you can embark on an island and only have your dorf civ visit you, but you may get attacked by random hostile animals. However you can just turtle/wall yourself in and nothing will bother you. Theres also modding to outrightly remove races.
- you can explore dangerous dungeons where you might find gold or very strong items/materials
-Adventure Mode. though its more like a roguelike, and its kind of realistic... In the way that there isnt much loot just hanging around in caves and that (no real dungeons yet, and civ sites (other than humans) arent implemented in yet, but next version they will be in. There are tombs, and sewers, and catacombs, and caves... and GIANT CAVERNS THAT SPAN THE UNDERWORLD.)
- like in RL, bad things can happen every time (diseases, war, attacks, lack of water/food etc.)
Theres a reason dorf forts motto is "losing is FUN"
Diseases are basically syndromes at the moment, and they can screw your fortress over VERY fast, they come to your fort in two flavours, evil-region clouds, and forgotten beasts.
War - well, in most cases your fort will be ambushed by goblins and seiged by them. And you can do things to make the elves and humans attack yhou.
Lack of food - Only if you are a newbie, experienced players are pretty good at not running out of food, as long as their dorfs dont die in the first month.
Lack of water - This can be a problem, but once again, experienced players can easily find it, and dorfs pretty much only use water for the injured, they instead use booze, which requires food.
- no end.
there is no winning in dorf fort, only many many many ways of losing.