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Author Topic: worst dwarf award  (Read 1201 times)

PDF urist master

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worst dwarf award
« on: April 23, 2013, 06:27:28 am »

to qualify, these dwarves not only end their own lives due to sheer stupidity, but also the lives of fellow dwarves around it. or they do something so tremedously stupid it has to be documented.

a good example would be getting killed during a goblin siege on the same tile as an entrance door, allowing your fortress to get swarmed.

let's hear it. worst of the worst. NAMES are required to better identify each dwarf.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2013, 07:35:09 pm by PDF urist master »
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Maw

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Re: worst dwarf award
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2013, 06:42:15 am »

Ladies and Gentledwarves,

I give you:

Dwarf Fortress Darwin Awards!
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Larix

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Re: worst dwarf award
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2013, 09:54:44 am »

to qualify, these dwarves not only end their own lives due to sheer stupidity, but also the lives of fellow dwarves around it. or they do something so tremedously stupid it has to be documented.

a good example would be getting killed during a goblin siege on the same tile as an entrance door, allowing your fortress to get swarmed.

Eh, that dwarf didn't actively stupidly pick the location of its death; the damage to the fortress is pure randomness. The award in this case should go to the overseer who used doors instead of hatches and bridges for vital security.

And being very stupid doesn't make a dwarf 'worst', it makes them maximum dwarfy.
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Dwarven War Boar

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Re: worst dwarf award
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2013, 12:12:08 pm »

And being very stupid doesn't make a dwarf 'worst', it makes them maximum dwarfy.

 ::)
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MattStriker

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Re: worst dwarf award
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2013, 12:27:50 pm »

The dorf who became a !!Dorf!! in a magma-related accident and then ran all the way to the wood-and-coal stockpile near the charcoal burner before he finally fell over.
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Doughnut189

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Re: worst dwarf award
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2013, 05:39:52 pm »

My legendary weaponsmith, who wandered out onto the draw-bridge where he had no business being while there was a migrant wave force of darkness in disguise approaching the fortress. I couldn't figure out what happened to him until I found his corpse laying about the caverns...

The worst part is that he had made my favourite artifact, too: A bismuth bronze mace that menaced with spikes of bronze. So simple. So elegant.
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PDF urist master

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Re: worst dwarf award
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2013, 07:33:52 pm »


And being very stupid doesn't make a dwarf 'worst', it makes them maximum dwarfy.

OK. what is your definition for worst dwarf then?
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zubb2

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Re: worst dwarf award
« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2013, 07:48:11 pm »

I remember one guy posted that he had a dwarf that was very tall and liked either elves or trees.

Not sure which.

I should think it be a dwarf like that.
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Catsup

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Re: worst dwarf award
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2013, 10:11:24 pm »

i dont pay attention enough to name a particular dwarf for their stupidity, but i think my fort as a whole deserves this award on several occasions.

To name a couple of extreme derpwarf moments one was when i was being sieged by undead and attacked by a forgotten beast, this was one of my older forts where the locks were raising bridges instead of hatches and my dwarf refused to pull the lever on either and let both in... gg

another time, more recently is i ordered my dwarves to pull a lever linked to my aquifier hatch twice so it opens and then closes immediately, and most of the time they do it without leaving the lever but this time some derpwarf left without pulling the lever a second time so my hospital's water zone ended up being flooded with water from the aquifier since i just needed 1 drop of water to refill the one 6/7 water tile. I ended up having to remove the doors to the water room to let the water out while trying to get 1 derpwarf to pull the lever to stop it. That went very smoothly as dwarfs refused to move in the water tiles 4/7 deeper or more, and alot of them got stuck.

When it was finally over they refused to clean up the muddy masterwork engraved floors, causing plants to grow on it and the masterwork engravings to be ruined. This not only caused my legendary engraver to tantrum but also made it so that if the plants were removed the tile reverted to soil, meaning it could never be engraved again. Note: my hospital and hospital water reservoir are connected to my legendary masterwork engraved dining room in my design so that food and water can easily be brought to patients in the hospital.

Blue_Dwarf

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Re: worst dwarf award
« Reply #9 on: April 24, 2013, 01:37:07 am »


And being very stupid doesn't make a dwarf 'worst', it makes them maximum dwarfy.

OK. what is your definition for worst dwarf then?

A dwarf that died from old age after making an artifact candy battleaxe.
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