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[Raphite1]

We all have giant kea stories. They suck, this is nothing new. Giant kea swiped two artifacts from my current fort. Whatever. I was a bit angry with them, but this is just how it goes.

I believe that the kea were disappointed in my lack of rage, however.

The fort's first goblin siege arrives, and I am woefully unprepared. Only one small squad of melee dwarves, and the magma trap was still under construction. The invaders were fifteen bowmen, and a pikeman on a giant olm. I had no answer to the arrows, and feared I would lose the fort.

But, a heroic flock of giant kea entered the map and swooped down to intervene. Circling above the goblins, the kea dove down and snatched the bundles of arrows right out of the goblins' quivers! The goblins, apparently confused, did not retaliate. The flock flew off with their prizes, and over half of the goblins had been rendered nearly harmless by the kea. My melee dwarves crushed the siege.

I was feeling pretty good about giant kea now. In fact, I had one in a cage that I was hauling to the surface for release, rather than the execution that I had planned. A bit later, another flock of kea appeared. I figured I'd let them swipe a wheelbarrow or two, because honestly they deserved it.

And only then, having earned my trust, did the dastardly kea throw their true nature back in my face like so much offal:



That was a legendary miner, one of my original seven. Choked to death by a kea wing.

[Catsup]

whenever i encounter any kind of kea i immediately abandon all above-ground activities, specifically farming; until i can get them off my map and build a roof (until then, i use burrows and a forbidden hatch). Even after that, i seal all my air-way entrances like the roof door that lead into my central stairs until i can get some war jabberers or rutherers as guards near the above-ground part of the stairway.

honestly, kea are savage, giant or not; in my experience they are more deadly than giant eagles, giant cave spiders, giant desert scorpions, swarms of crundles modded with enrage...just about everything since they're so aggressive and fly into your fort and steal more than any kobold civilization can in your fort's lifetime and chip bones on pets and civillians and if their giant, will kill your dwarves.

[Dwarvinator]

To be fair, the combat report you have provided begins with the miner attacking the Kea. A very serious, life-threatening assault. What's a Kea supposed to do?

[Loud Whispers]

To be fair, the combat report you have provided begins with the miner attacking the Kea. A very serious, life-threatening assault. What's a Kea supposed to do?

Stop trying to steal from IKEA?

[Frelus]

Really hate Keas, too.
I am thinking about modding in some kind of poison that slowly, very slowly, rots their wings, then their minor organs, then vital organs.
And I will put it in their blood.
They would still survive worldgen, though, would they not? Or does worldgen simulate poison, too?

[Raphite1]

To be fair, the combat report you have provided begins with the miner attacking the Kea. A very serious, life-threatening assault. What's a Kea supposed to do?

Whatever. That kea was all up in his personal space.

[Ubiq]

That was a legendary miner, one of my original seven. Choked to death by a kea wing.

Seems to be a Pyrrhic victory at best for the kea since the miner tapped an artery. Did it make it off the screen before it bled to death?

[Raphite1]

Yeah, it escaped. I was hoping it would bleed out before the miner asphyxiated, but it was not to be.

Further irony is that the miner was only on the surface to help work on my new fortified, covered entrance.

[swordsmith04]

Look at it from the Keas' perspective:
It was trapped in a cage for months, with little to no food or water, no sunlight, and only stale, underground air. It sees sunlight, feels the cool breeze, for the first time in ages, and before it can stretch its wings and fly away from that wretched hole in the ground, some prick dwarf stabs one of its wings, preventing it from flying. Honestly, I'd have killed the dwarf if I was the kea, too.

[Tirion]

A giant kea strangled an entire mine? Lack of F10 pressing makes this awesome.

[omg_scout]

They're nearly as bad as badgers. Build a couple of anti-buzzard SAM sites marksdwarf towers and your fortress will look like Baghdad in 2003 from all the aerial bolt spam. You waste a lot of ammo and everything is covered in unslightly exploded buzzard bits and broken bolts.

Just change 'buzzard' to 'kea' and you will imagine my anti-kea facilities.

[Mesa]

To be fair, the combat report you have provided begins with the miner attacking the Kea. A very serious, life-threatening assault. What's a Kea supposed to do?

Stop trying to steal from IKEA?

iKea, coming to stores May 2013. (copyright Apple Inc.)

[chevil]

To be fair, the combat report you have provided begins with the miner attacking the Kea. A very serious, life-threatening assault. What's a Kea supposed to do?

Stop trying to steal from IKEA?

iKea, coming to stores May 2013. (copyright Apple Inc.)

The moment you buy one it will grab your wallet and fly away.

[Loud Whispers]

To be fair, the combat report you have provided begins with the miner attacking the Kea. A very serious, life-threatening assault. What's a Kea supposed to do?

Stop trying to steal from IKEA?

iKea, coming to stores May 2013. (copyright Apple Inc.)

Counter copyright from Sweden!

[dirty foot]

They wouldn't be such an annoyance if dwarves used bins properly. Dragging your weapon bin all the way out to pick up some goblinite is fine and dandy, but leaving it there for 4 months because you need to grab a drink?