Well, I don't drink either, in spite of my social difficulties. It's probably true that they would be alleviated some if I did, just like they were for my father. But I don't want to turn into an alcoholic like my father. I think that there's a higher chance of that happening if you're using alcohol as a crutch like that, rather than just as a fun thing to do socially sometimes, in moderation. Perhaps if I had a healthy, moderate view on alcohol -- being okay with one or two glasses a day, you know -- it wouldn't be as big a thing and I would need to worry less about being an alcoholic (not that I'm very worried now, mind you, but those social difficulties aren't alleviated either). It's all a bit tricky to say, but for now, I'd rather address those difficulties in other ways first, and if that doesn't work out, well, then I'll see about alcohol. I just don't really like the stuff, though.
Anyway, my first relationship was at 17, and it lasted for a little under 2.5 years, and now I'm 24 and I haven't had a second relationship yet. It really feels like it's about time for me. I think it may be true at times that relationships aren't "efficient" uses of your time, depending on what you want to accomplish, but I will second what Vector said:
I've learned more about right and wrong, and how to treat people well, in relationships than I have anywhere else. Your mileage may vary, of course, but I consider the time used on them to be very well spent.
That was just the same for me.
Also, if I got to choose, my next relationship would involve a lot of cooperative studying/learning (watching Khan Academy videos together, programming something together, each reading the same books/articles, that sort of thing), which I think could be efficient by most other standards as well. Of course, you don't necessarily need a relationship for that... but still.
At any rate, there's nothing weird about being 16 and not having had a girlfriend/boyfriend. My dad was 21 when he had his first girlfriend.
What was the other thing I wanted to say? Oh, yes. It's true what Putnam said:
You're 16 years old and you're having regrets about your life? Your life hasn't even STARTED yet. You have SO much opportunity ahead of you. You can be exactly how you want to be given time.
(I'll agree with others saying that your life not having started is an exaggeration, but Putnam already addressed that himself in a later post.) I already mentioned relationships coming later than that aren't unusual, as has also been demonstrated by others. You may not have been a nice person in elementary school or middle school, but apparently you are now, so really, that should be fine. (I understand the worry about "missing out" on those years/experiences, but really, I myself don't feel like I had that many meaningful, important experiences then. High school and college seem much more important to me in those terms... although your mileage may vary, I suppose.) You can ride the bike at any age, so so long as you can do that now, there's no real loss there.
I think you're going to be fine. It sounds lame, but those years tend to be difficult, and people around your age often feel similarly, I think (although not necessarily quantitatively so, and three years does sound like a long time). I felt like that for a time as well. In fact, I felt like that again fairly recently (so it's not always/necessarily
just the teenage years), and am just now starting to feel better -- I think spring has something to do with it in this case. Anyway, I think the others had the right idea suggesting you go and do something new and interesting such as learning to sing, and try to focus on the good things in life (which is easier said than done, but a worthy personal cause all the same).
Hmm, that was a bit much, wasn't it? Well, typed the whole thing now, might as well send it in.
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Topic: Regret and Things of That Nature. (Read 2734 times)