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[itisnotlogical]

Just remembered something that happened a few days ago.

My fort was doing okay, I had ~16 dwarves and a pretty decent economy going when a necromancer came. Since I had no military, I forbade the door leading outside, intending to wait out the siege until I had a few iron swords.

I completely forgot about the wide-open, undefended 3x3 entrance I made for wagons to come in.

[Urist Da Vinci]

Had a vampire come to my fort. Bastard got like 12 of my dwarves before I found out who it was.

I had him sentenced to death by dropping him into a pit. It didn't work. I tried again, higher. Still didn't take. I put spikes in the pit. Nothing. This dude's unbreakable! I sentence him to hammering by convicting him of all 12 murders in the justice screen. Hammerer breaks every bone in the vampire's body. HE STILL LIVES.

How did he die?

He finally died of thirst while immobilized in the hospital because he could not drink any blood. XD

 

Toady:

Yeah. I mean, your fortress should eventually get marked as a death trap if you keep murdering your migrants and then since you'll have no one come to your fortress your vampires would start to slow down. They don't ever die from not drinking, they just get really slow. If they're at maximum slowness they might still be better overall than a regular dwarf in terms of their combat abilities and stuff because they have resistance to damage and higher attributes and stuff like that. There's not really a reason not to do it. I mean, you would have an evil fort, it would be bad to be a vampire. I guess you'd be more immune to zombie attacks because the zombies wouldn't attack your vampires.

Mind you, vampires can die of injury, infection, or blood loss.

[MrWillsauce]

I'm guessing that the vampire died of thirst because he was injured, and thus required water. He got none, so he died of thirst, not lack of blood sucking.

[Sutremaine]

I'm guessing that the vampire died of thirst because he was injured, and thus required water.

Your logic is faulty. Injured normal dwarves require water not because they are injured, but because their injury makes them unable to get drinks themselves. Without drink, they become thirsty, and trigger the Give Water job.

[TheCoolSideofthePIllow]

Had a vampire come to my fort. Bastard got like 12 of my dwarves before I found out who it was.

I had him sentenced to death by dropping him into a pit. It didn't work. I tried again, higher. Still didn't take. I put spikes in the pit. Nothing. This dude's unbreakable! I sentence him to hammering by convicting him of all 12 murders in the justice screen. Hammerer breaks every bone in the vampire's body. HE STILL LIVES.

How did he die?

He finally died of thirst while immobilized in the hospital because he could not drink any blood. XD

 

Toady:

Yeah. I mean, your fortress should eventually get marked as a death trap if you keep murdering your migrants and then since you'll have no one come to your fortress your vampires would start to slow down. They don't ever die from not drinking, they just get really slow. If they're at maximum slowness they might still be better overall than a regular dwarf in terms of their combat abilities and stuff because they have resistance to damage and higher attributes and stuff like that. There's not really a reason not to do it. I mean, you would have an evil fort, it would be bad to be a vampire. I guess you'd be more immune to zombie attacks because the zombies wouldn't attack your vampires.

Mind you, vampires can die of injury, infection, or blood loss.

That may have been what it was. I didn't actually see him die, so I just assumed that's what happened since it seemed logical.

I'm going to remember it that way anyway, because it's pretty funny.

[Veylon]

I think for me it was the time undead tuna flopped up out of the ocean and beat my dwarves to death with their bodies.

[Scootagoose]

I once had a dwarf who decided that he REALLY wanted a piece of Giant Raven Sweetbread that I use for my animal traps. Thing is, I forgot to forbid it and she decided to run out in the middle of a siege, cue her sitting in the grass munching on food when suddenly a spear went through her head. She survived this, whacked the guy with the sweatbread then proceeded to get filled with bolts before getting his head caved in with a hammer.

[Aviator CJ]

I once lost a fort to blood and fire.

I have a tendency to not bother with military, and defending my fort with either traps or extremely cautious designating/building. I decided to expand into the caverns, and knowing about the FBs I drafted a couple of squads and sent them in. I eventually managed to kill the beasties, but thanks to one FB with deadly blood dying in a narrow corridor my hospital filled with rotting dwarfs and my hallways filled with rotting cats. My surgeons got a lot of experience, but I still went down from 200 to 18 dwarfs.

I then discovered that a door was not able to hold back the next FB, a fire-breathing kangaroo.

[KoboldSmasher]

I had dug a reserve tank that connects to a lake, i had majorly overdone the tank and the lake dried up, i then forgot about it and then gobbos came, i do the normal defensive lever pulling forcing them to take the route filled with traps and murder but instead they strolled through the lake into the tank and from there into the fort and started a horrible massacre.

[RickiusMaximus]

Had two squads of ten fully steel armed dwarfs

Decided that I needed another squad, designated the same armour type, of course I didn't have enough steel greaves or boots made for the extra squad

Since they were told to replace clothing they promptly removed their existing trousers and shoes

Ended up with ten tantruming marksdwarfs armed with steel crossbows, helms and breastplates but naked from the waist down

[Urist ZatRethol]

Most of the fortresses I build overproduce food for the first one or two years before I set them to fallow. (I like 5x5 farm plots for aesthetic reasons) In one fortress I forgot to stop farming, which caused a severe barrel shortage so I couldn't brew alcohol. I got around this by importing alcohol from caravans. One fall I forgot to buy alcohol (I was overconfident because that was the first fort I played with invaders turned off), and in the winter all the lakes froze over. By the spring I was losing dwarfs to both dehydration and to the tantrum spiral. The worst part was that I built a huge reservoir underground, but there was no surface to stand on to drink from it.

[Sutremaine]

Next time, dump the food out of the barrels. You can do this relatively easily by d-b-d ing over an area of the food stockpile, and then manually undumping the barrels only by using k-d for each barrel. If you put the dump zone in the stockpile (and why wouldn't you, since it's right next to the things you're dumping?), the dumped items won't rot because... they're on a food stockpile tile. Don't forget to reclaim them once dumping is finished, you don't want starvation to be your next problem.

[Trouserman]

I tried to run a hermit fortress, once. Six of the original seven had Very Bad Accidents, and the one remaining set about making a quiet home for himself, digging graves for the others and starting the vital industries to keep himself fed and sheltered.

The first wave of immigrants arrived. The hermit dug them a nice isolation chamber. They went in, and he locked the door behind them and set about his business. When the miasma cleared, he set about gathering their stuff and putting them in their graves. But it was terribly labor intensive, and other things weren't getting done, so when the next wave of immigrants arrived before he'd disposed of the first, he decided to let the immigrants take dispose of their own.

By the time the next wave arrived, the hermit was fed up with the labor and the noise, so he built them an atom smashing chamber. The fortress was finally quiet again.

Then, disaster! Some kobolds appeared. The hermit drove them off, but suffered a minor injury. He limped back to bed, where he lay, contemplating his impending death by dehydration.

But wait! Another wave of immigrants arrived just in time to bring the grouchy old fellow a drink. "Very well," said he, "One of you may stay to bring me water until I am healed. Decide amongst yourselves which it will be." The immigrants gathered in the atom smashing chamber to draw lots. An order was set to pull the lever. Whichever immigrant responded to the call to leave the room to pull the lever would be saved.

One brave soul ran to do his duty.

He then ran back to the meeting hall just in time to be smashed with the others.

Shoulda locked the door. Oops.

[slathazer]

My first fortress died when I couldn't find a "quit the game" option and accidentally abandoned the fortress.