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Author Topic: the Laws of Urist  (Read 1331 times)

hops

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the Laws of Urist
« on: October 13, 2012, 06:29:35 am »
1. If something can't go wrong, dwarves will make it go wrong anyways.
2. You can never have enough cats.
3. Drinking>Living
4. Dying>Living
5. If it is beneficial, dwarves will hate it
6. If it is dangerous and useless, dwarves will love it.
7. A random dead peasant is worth killing the whole fort.
8. Carps and rivers will be referred as NSHFS
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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Darvi

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Re: the Laws of Urist
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2012, 06:36:49 am »
1. Unless it's supposed to go wrong.
2. You can. It's defined as whatever amount makes the game crash.
3+4. False, D<L, as any computer could tell you.
5. But stuff that dwarves like is beneficial, for the good thoughts. So they hate it because it's beneficial, causing a parado-ERROR:DIVIDE BY 0
6. Technically true, but only because NOTHING is useless.
7. Including the cats? Don't think so.
8. Not Safe or Healthy For School?
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WaffleEggnog

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Re: the Laws of Urist
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2012, 01:56:10 pm »
Bro, bro bro ..... bro






bro





You forgot magma.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Tharwen on January 06, 2013, 12:07:35 am
WHEN POSSIBLE, I PREFER TO CONSUME YOUR FACE.

Azated

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Re: the Laws of Urist
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2012, 09:28:14 pm »
9. If it's made of flesh, it's required to explode into gore by decree of Urist McKingdorf.
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Quote from: Tlc2011 on May 11, 2011, 09:19:16 pm
Quote from: Achitus on May 11, 2011, 08:15:32 pm
Then it happened. Then I cringed. Then I picked it up and beat him to death with it, and then his buddies, too.
You beat a man to death with his dick?

"I don't feel like myself. Maybe I should have Doc take a look at me" ~ Dreamy
 "You're gonna trust a dwarf that got his medical degree from a pickaxe?" ~ Bossy

Mr S

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Re: the Laws of Urist
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2012, 10:51:00 pm »
And gravity.
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VNdoug

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Re: the Laws of Urist
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2012, 03:43:29 pm »
Quote from: Darvi on October 13, 2012, 06:36:49 am
6. Technically true, but only because NOTHING is useless.
A giant gold statue is useless, but the dwarves like it.




Now that I think of it, maybe the dwarves hate the statue too. They carry the gold blocks muttering "damn stupid overseer".
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IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: the Laws of Urist
« Reply #6 on: October 17, 2012, 10:39:04 am »
May I add a rule?

Rule 9: If it's stupid, jackassed, dangerous and lethal, by all means throw all nearby elves, keas and crundles into it and see what comes out.
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darkrider2

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Re: the Laws of Urist
« Reply #7 on: October 17, 2012, 10:51:24 am »
Quote from: IamanElfCollaborator on October 17, 2012, 10:39:04 am
May I add a rule?

Rule 9: If it's stupid, jackassed, dangerous and lethal, by all means throw all nearby elves, keas and crundles into it and see what comes out.

Dwarven Fusion Reactor anyone? We can totally fuse elves and crundles into raw energy or something, though the crundles might get offended by it.
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IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: the Laws of Urist
« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2012, 10:55:36 am »
No.
Quote from: from Urist McScientistguy
The crundles aren't dwarven. Their objections do not matter. Now toss some more into the furnaces, I need dinner.
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