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[TherosPherae]

Hello there ladies, gentlemen, and gender-ambiguous dwarves. Today, we do not play in the realms of sanity, canon, or even moderately basic logic.

No. Today, we play in the land of Heavily Modded Skyrim. 114 mods, to be precise. I have no idea what half of these mods do, let alone if they are compatible with each other.

The basic guidelines which will be followed:
1. I will only fast travel to locations I've been to. I will not attempt to use fast travel to discover new locations at a greater rate - i.e. fast travel somewhere near to an objective so as to reach said objective. This is so I don't miss out on any hilarious occurrences and/or incredibly dangerous encounters.
2. I will only use the console if mod conflicts require it to start a quest - not complete it.
3. The game will be played with low-quality graphics in order to keep the framerate tolerable and (hopefully) reduce crashes. This will likely ruin the effect of several of the graphics mods, but I only really care about gameplay mods.

Now, onward to the actual game!

Spoiler: It Begins (warning: contains some HUEG images) (click to show/hide)

Our journey begins at the character selection screen, where I am greeted by...



...this. I'm not about to pass up the chance to run around Skyrim as a disembodied head, so I quickly enter a name after carefully observing the other new species variant - by which I mean reading the fairly terribly formatted description for an elf with wings.



This seems oddly appropriate.

I'm playing the Live Another Life mod (one of the three or so I added intentionally), which allows you to bypass the long-ass intro sequence and get straight into the adventuring fun with the grace of one of Skyrim's deities, Mara. It also gives you options to start as various types of person - merchant, miner, sailor, etc. I chose the "surprise me" option, and landed myself...



...in a shipwreck. Mara's sense of humor knows no bounds.



At least there's some loot, including the unpictured corpse of a deceased Thalmor agent.



I finally manage to escape the ship, and set my sights for land.



Our hero begins the long.... swim? toward shore.



I find some barnacles on another abandoned boat. Mmm. Barnacles.



I immediately start my adventure by making enemies with the local wildlife. Hey, they bit me first.



I find some oysters and immediately harvest the shit out of them. Oyster meat, horker tusks, and barnacles - part of a nutritious breakfast.



Shortly afterwards, I am attacked by some wolves on fire. Again, Mara's humor knows no bounds.



HEEEERE'S JOHNNY!



The results of my slaughter. There is blood everywhere.



I involuntarily relieve some more of the local wildlife of their organs, bones, tusks, etc.



Oh hey, it's a little enemy crab, that's neat. I think I'll just...



...I'm pretty sure crabs don't have that much blood.



Our hero randomly goes bald upon equipping an iron helmet. How exciting.



Not even the babies are spared from my executions.



Mmm. Tastes like blood and cruelty.



I run into some chauruses (chaurii?). Obviously, they're early-game enemies, so dispatching them with my axe should be no problem.



4 deaths later, I manage to escape into the ruins of Saarthal by abusing the hell out of the early-game restoration spell. Now, maybe I'll be able to grind a couple of levels off of leveled zombies and escape these blasted insectoids.



DAMMIT.

Anyways, the next update should have pictures scaled to a slightly less obscene size. Also, more of them.

[Furtuka]

[pisskop]

Sure Ill watch.  Im actually tempted to reinstall and heavily mod Skyrim myself.  Difficulty mods, mostly.  Fatique reducers, magic rebalancing, harder dragons and harder enemies, etc.  The vanilla game is too easy.

What do you have installed?

And bloody armour redux.

[ISP]

Saarthal is part of the mages college quest line, and is locked due to scripts that are involved with going through it.

[TherosPherae]

What do you have installed?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t348e24vDyA

Okay, I have a tiny idea. Out of the 114 mods total, 4 of them were ones I picked specifically. Midas Magic because meteors, Prides of Skyrim because lions, Spell Combining because it looked interesting, and Live Another Life because seriously the intro sequence is terribly long. Other than that, all the mods are from random mod collections in the Steam Workshop.

And I knew Saarthal was part of the mage college quest line, I just didn't know that they had to lock the outer bit that didn't have much of anything. Looks like I'll have to be more creative than that to escape the bugs.

[Vorthon]

Posting to watch. Seems like it could be good for a few laughs.

[TherosPherae]

Spoiler: Wolves. Wolves Everywhere. (Also, a SHITLOAD of images) (click to show/hide)

Last we left our hero, he was running like hell from a herd of insects. Now, we return, shortly after he has escaped the insects by running like hell in an unamusing fashion.



I am going to let this picture speak for itself.



I find my first cow. This one got away, because apparently chubby bovines are faster than I am. I should really do something about that terrible Stamina level.



I do manage to kill a goat, though. The rampage against nature never ceases. Oh the humanity.



I find Skeletor here lying around on a platform. As soon as I start looting, he stands up and starts lecturing me on classical physics while beating me to death with an axe.



Pictured: Skeletor's source of classical physics knowledge. I'm not quite sure why there are four.



One of Skeletor's buddies who stood up at the same time he did and tried to shoot my face. This one spared me the books, which was nice.



I thought this was a good idea.



It wasn't. (In case you can't tell, that's a dead Bob right there.)



The downside of having the screenshot key be the same as the quicksave key: running from bears. And chauruses. And just about everything except cows.



I finally manage to avoid death by bear, and make it all the way to Winterhold. Woo hoo, finally some civilization.



I pick up a cheap Fire Bolt spell from Faralda, then promptly run away to try heading south. Hopefully there are less bears and shit there.



Giving a nearby guard some mental trauma.



The first of many wolves.

From this point until around Rorikstead, the entire journey can be presumed to contain obscene amounts of this:

I'm just not putting up the extra thirty or so pictures I have of just plain ol' wolves.



A wolf getting a death animation. I'm not entirely sure how it died.



A not-wolf trying to take my money.



The not-wolf after trying to take my money. Bob doesn't piss around. Also, I took his Orcish Shortsword for my own personal use.



The entrance to a cave. This can only be a good sign, right?



Huh. It's actually kind of peacefu-



NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE



I tried to pickpocket this mercenary lady mostly because I can. She caught me, and ran away to throw fire at my face.



I returned the favor, and got her stuff anyways.



I found this book in my inventory. Apparently, it tells me how to "tweak" my "followers".



Or it's just a thing for a mod. That works too. I promptly dump it to save inventory weight.

After this, I head back to Winterhold to sell some stuff and then walk west to Dawnstar, seeing as my southward movements weren't very productive.



Waiting in the pitch dark for a shop to open. Thank goodness I don't have any hunger or pneumonia mods installed as far as I know.



Apparently, I can wear ALL THE ARMOR at once. Ah, the advantages of not having a torso that exists in this dimension.



Skyrim: Scenic and beautiful...



...until these bastards show up again. Maybe I can just sneak by him and escape?



NOPE.



In my mad fleeing, I come near to one of the Standing Stones of Skyrim which you can follow for some pretty neat bonuses. This one had a bear guarding it, which I neatly edged by without aggravating it. I'll get you later, bear...



This one is the Tower Stone. Hooray for easy lockpicking.



Wolf does not understand how higher ground works. It means you cannot bite me and I can shoot your face.



Random dead horse in the middle of nowhere with nothing on it. What a shame.



Wolf slaughter. Muahahahahahaha.



Not even the rabbits are spared from my rampage. Your adorableness won't save you this time.



Looks like a normal wolf attack, right?



Nope. Their in-laws Biff and Jerry are along, and they're hungry.



I immediately climb a cliff. Looks like they don't udnerstand the principle of higher ground either...



Although they do understand the principle of hiding behind a rock so I canot shoot them. Bastards.



A touch later, I stumble upon an old ruin. Oh good, a place to stay the evening and avoid wolv- wait, are those red dots?



That's some brilliant AI right there.



He eventually disengaged the stump and tried to axe me a few questions. I declined.



Even though the lights are on, I don't think I should try trick-or-treating at this castle. So I go around it.



Finally! Civilization! Again!



I use the tanning rack to grind up some bones. Better than using them as toothpicks, I guess.



I inspect that 'leather' tab, and find these. Oh boy, extra carrying capacity! Now I can haul around even more wolf pelts!



I go inside to find out that this is, in fact, the HQ of the Vigil of Stendarr. I speak with their leader, who snubs me in favor of watching a Daedra Heart vibrate its way off of a plate.



Everyone says this there, and almost nothing else. Everyone. I manage to get away before their doldrums and sanity gets to me.



See, this is more like it. Stabbing a wolf while it tries to eat my head - this is excitement. Well, it would be had it not happened fifty times on the way here.



Silly bandit, great-maces are for smashing. Not stabbing.



That's what swords are for.



Salvaged from the horse the bandits killed, because why the hell not.



See, kids, this is what happens to bandits. Don't do banditry, stay in school, and maybe you'll grow up to be Arch-Mage one day.



Well ex-cuse you.



I executed his bodyguard for his rudeness. Actually, I tried to execute him, but the bodyguard got in the way.



I got this from one of the damned wolves. Bastards.



....seriously?



It even gets a heroic cutscene death, as does...



...yet another goddamn wolf. Okay, I apologize for this. I thought I had gotten rid of all the damn wolf pictures.



Skyrim roadkill. It's totally a thing that happens.



About time I got to Dawnsta- wait, Morthal? What?



More waiting for shops to open so I can peddle wolf skin to any sucker who will buy it.



He is the Dark Knight. Except with maaaagic.



That's right. Run. Tell your friends, your entire family, just tell all the wolves to stop trying to eat me. Please.



I found a wild horse, which I can apparently ride!



These things are faster than just about anything else. I managed to bypass like thirteen bandit ambushes on this horse alone.



Well, I was trying to get to Solitude, but this works too I guess.



Bob does not approve of the smell of giants.



I run into some drunks, who give me free booze after I get off my horse. Said horse then promptly pisses off for reasons unknown.
Also, that guy has no pants. I am presuming this is alcohol-related, but one simply cannot assume such things.



And here I was hoping I was done with annoying wildlife for a bit. Ha ha ha NO.



In case you can't tell, that sword is in its neck. Because Bob hates animals, and animals hate Bob.



This deer was a badass, and only gets a mention because he's the only deer thus far to even try to fight back instead of run like a pansy.



This gets him killed, of course, but I honor his memory by harvesting his innards and planning to make potions from them later.



Another cow running away. However, not all of them do this.



Because this one apparently wants a chunk of my ass. BRING IT ON.



Apparently, getting the killing blow on a bull with a sword is the key to antigravity. It landed eventually, but it got some serious air.



I must go, my bovines need me.



The first dragon sighting! How exciting. Also, a random Khajit. I am entirely unsure that I spelled that right.



An epic battle breaks out between an Imperial squad, the dragon, a khajit caravan, and some... oh god. LIONS.



The battle continues as the dragon says the only word it knows to anyone who cares to listen.



Lions. One of them started tearing after me, and I pissed the hell off after trying to shoot it a couple times.



That giant took in all of what was happening, then turned around and went home to contemplate his life.



A random man, whom I am now referring to as MaximumZero, attempts to punch out a lion. I am unsure of his success, as I am too busy running like hell and trying to stall said lion.



The dragon follows me as I run away from the battle. He lands and I shoot his shit.



The lions then arrive on the scene, presumably to finish off the victor. I go back into "run like hell" mode, and find a bandit fortress nearby. Maybe, just maybe, I can...



...lure them on to a bandit. Sucker.



I have no idea what this is, but it's probably bad.



I don't remember there being a forest in Whiterun...



Lions apparently have a several-mile-long aggro range. Oh boy.



I find a fort in the trees.



The fort is full of free shit, including an upgrade to a Glass Dagger of Binding. Hey, I'm not complaining.



Also a completely inaccurate book. It talks a lot about domestic cats and sabercats, but says nothing about lions. Presumably because I am the first to survive a lion attack.



Mudcrabs, pimpin' out and killin' canines. What a shame they have to die.



The update ends with this, where I can see a red dot and hear what is obviously a dragon nearby. Should I go investigate, or not meddle in the affairs of another dragon?

[ISP]

How fun, I expect great things from this...

[pisskop]

How do you take screenies?

[TherosPherae]

How do you take screenies?

There are many ways to skin that particular cat wolf. I, personally, use Steam's screenshot function, which I have tied to the F5 key.

[Scelly9]

PTW, because this is hilarious.

[TherosPherae]

Spoiler: Cats, Smithing, and Shopping (click to show/hide)

We start at the giant's camp our hero was approaching. Whatever was making the draconic noises appears to have left or been eaten by the giant.



How has that not ignited any of these trees yet?



Hey there Giant-bro. And Giant-bro's loot.



Not bad, not bad at all.



So that's what the noises were. His cat died and he was mourning it.
And I just looted its corpse, so I should probably scram.



Operation: GTFO was successful.



I continue my journey towards Whiterun with nothing eventful happening until I reach the stables, where I find an open chest with a flute in it. "Reading" the flute teaches me this spell.
I try it out, just to see if it'll bring me that wild horse I rode earlier.



This... is not a horse.



This is the Saber-cat Antichrist.



And I can ride it. Me and my new antichrist, henceforth named Tom, go out on an ADVENTURE.



Our adventure stops short as I attempt a ride-by on a group of racist elves. It doesn't go well, and at some point I make the foolish decision of dismounting for purposes of improving my aim.



See, kids, don't be racist. This is what happens when you're racist - a disembodied head appears on a demon cat to kill you and take your armor.



Bob doesn't like couriers either, but he takes the message anyways.



"I heard you murdered a guy in cold blood. Good job, I could use a guy like you."
I think I'm going to have to pay this guy a 'visit'...



...right after I successfully perform a ride-by killing on a deer.



And murder a farmer for looking at me funny.



The livestock have to go too.



There can be no witnesses.



A couple of guards showed up and apprehended me while I was halfway through killing the cows. Bob decides it might be fun to spend some time in jail, especially since he can't really drop the soap.
The best part about this is that he isn't apprehended for killing the farmer - just the cows. Apparently, the guards have a thing for livestock.



The other inmates left him a welcoming gift! Aw, this bunch is going to get along just fine!



Several unspecified periods of time later, Bob emerges from jail as a hardened criminal. The first thing he does is note that Whiterun has apparently become a Christmas tree farm in his absence.



Oh yeah, I'm still sick. How have I not died from that by now?



After a bit more observation, it becomes apparent that Whiterun has not only become a Christmas tree farm, but an overgrown one. Foliage and shit is everywhere.



That is one big-ass half-sword. What a shame I can't make it.



Apaprently, Tom is allowed in cities. Not like the guards were going to stop him if he wanted to, anyways.



There's a mod that lets me melt down old armor and such. I melt down all the looted stuff I'm not using so I can smith shit out of it. Also, this is at a new smelter at the Skyforge. Because having just one smelter in town isn't enough.



Eorlund shows up for a bit of late-night smithing to ease his nerves. Apparently some murderer just got released from prison, and he's really tense about it.



What is with all these big-ass menu-cutting swords? I like my menus just the way they are, thanks.



Nighttime in Whiterun. The trees prevent any sort of ambient light, making everything really dark.



I activate a shrine of Talos to get rid of that Rockjoint. That's right, disease, feel the mighty power of the GODS!

This might be just a touch overkill.



I head up to Dragonsreach. I was half-expecting there to be a pony sitting in the Jarl's throne.



I find this on Farengar's desk, and accidentally steal it. I am apprehended shortly and arrested again for petty theft. I pay my fines instead of spending more time in the funhouse.



Yep, I have no idea what this is.



Or this. Seriously, what sort of item starts with a period?



I try to determine if I can wear multiple pieces of the same armor with different enchantments. Sadly, I cannot.



I think I know what that bone might have been for.



Holy shit this thing is faster than the horse. Also, really difficult to steer.



Yeah, sure. Call me when you run into some lions, you pansy-ass milk-drinking laod screen.



I sit down on my other lazy cat, then promptly get off when I realize he won't move his ass.



I teleport through the bridge into the moat, face-to-face with this bastard. Much swearing was had.



Hmm. Let's try it. BOB USED DISMISS!



IT'S NOT VERY EFFECTIVE...



Several casts and several minutes of walking later, Jango gets the hint and pisses off for a bit.



About time I officially discover Whiteru- oh hey what's in there?



There is absolutely no way this can go badly.



I find this while eploring the smithing menus. Gotta love LOTR mods for putting in menu-breaking swords and Gandalf armor.



'Tis but a flesh wound. Now gimme all your money.



This looks like fun.





There is absolutely no way this was not a good idea. Especially since it launched me up to level 48 or so.



Bob waits for more shops to open up.



No, Jango, your ass is not armor. Not yet, anyways. Now gets down from there.



I have no idea what these do but it should be interesting.



Oh boy, stabbing! I'll have to use this while riding my Antichrist. Maybe the devil-bonuses will stack.



There is pretty much no way I'm not going to make any of these.



I don't care if nobody can see it. I want a goddamn cape.



Side effects of riding giant cats: your head might float quite a bit higher than normal. This is because one of your cats fed you catnip while you were waiting for shops to open, you gullible bastard.




I have no idea how these happened, but whatever's causing it is srsly OP, and will probably ruin my fun.



HEY FARENGAR, GIMME YOUR MONEY.



I decide to take a break from making some overpowered armor and grab my new dagger. I've got some critters to kill.



First up: that bear.



I SHALL USE YOUR SOUL FOR MY TOILET PAPER



I get over here just in time to watch Jango push a bear cub off a cliff. He and Bob will get along just fine.



Where are those goddamn chauruses?



FOUND YOU.



Amidst my insectoid revenge, I find that they apparently had a beef with a frost troll. Hey, more loot for me, I ain't complaining.



Another one of these guys? This one doesn't even have a decent murder-message for me, just an invitation to some museum. Bah humbug.



Apparently, I can't kill this guy. But the guards don't harp on me for making him bleed into eternity, either.



Jango ends the conflict by sitting on the courier and crushing his ribs. Good cat, best minion.



I take the soul of a random skeever that was wandering around town. That'll teach 'em.



Jango can apparently open doors on his own. This is only moderately terrifying, since he seems to be on my side.



I end the episode by putting this amulet, the source of certain ungodly stats, into the Chest of Infinite Ingots. Sure, the point of this is to have fun and be incredibly OP, but I think I do a fine job of that without needing a super-amulet.

There was also a lot of off-screen shopping - I've got about a thousand gold now, not counting the shitload of rings and amulets.

[Thexor]

This is... brilliant. Frankly, I'm amazed the game can handle that many mods at once. The fact that it's playable is just a bonus.

[Wrex]

That Amulet looks like SCP 937. It's a tarp!