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[Geen]

Find a hobo, offer him booze if he agrees to become your assistant.

[Phlum]

yes geting poor people to do what you say is always good. they make great cannonfodder, test material, brute force, mindless labor, ect.
+1 for the hobo idea

[Lich180]

((Read the thread, laughed a few times, and +1 for the hobo idea as well))

We must procure the services of one of these so-called "hobos" and through an offer of alcohol or medicinal healing (whichever benefits him or her most, of course, thus assuring loyalty) convince them to assist us in our... activities!

[NUKE9.13]

Yes, yes.

A proper manservant is beyond your means at the moment. A homeless bum will have to suffice.

You encounter a beggar who does not smell too bad, and offer him a bottle of gin and a pound a month to come and work for you. He eagerly accepts.

"Rite, guv, whos d' peacful?", he asks. You have no idea what he just said. "Withor the daisy-pushes?", he repeats. "Wut skuggins gunna gitit?" You hand over the bottle of gin and nod politely. He shrugs, and starts drinking.

He may not speak english, but at least he seems to understand it. Hobo-servant get!

Now what.

[Phlum]

Hmm. Keeping the hobo in an booze induced stoupor we could use him as a test subject! Or we could order him around like the brute he is, keeping the booze and giving it to him only when he performs well. Choices are so hard, input?

[crazysheep]

I support the fine suggestion that we try to condition our new hobo-manservant to do well so that he gets his booze.

[Wayward Device]

Yes! We should use this study of conditioning to perhaps discover some Principal or Law of Natural Philosophie pertaining to the Controle and Tyrinization of the Mind by the Application of Substances. The only problem I forsee is that the the witt-dulling potions of the Institute for Madmen seem to have robbed us of all recollection of our August Name, leaving Us unable to properly name any Law or Principal We may Discover....