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[HoshiGiniro]

I was writing up fortress history to amuse a friend who doesn't play DF.  So, some extra bits added for flavor...

Grand Master Mason Lokum Adilibel, one of the founders of Ok Okbod heads to work in the Depot Tunnel.  Entrance #2 has gotten a new gate and the entrance area has been ordered roofed by the mayor.  As he turns into the northern extension to reach the new work area a shadowy figure jumps out at him.  GOBLIN!  Lokum staggers as the thief jams a silver dagger into his lower body and twists it.  He kicks clear of the goblin and stumbles south towards safety as more goblins emerge from hiding farther north in the tunnel .  Arrows start to clatter on the ramp behind him as he staggers to an alarm pull and then crawls onto the main tunnel level.   Lokum faints for a moment as the alarm tocsin starts to sound.

Coming to, Lokum starts to crawl eastward towards the fortress gate.  Two arrows strike him in the leg as the goblins archers come into sight again.  And their leader, a lanky goblin with a war hammer, approaches.  Lokum attempts to dodge the strikes but the goblin incessantly pounds on his arms and legs while easily deflecting his weak counterattacks.  The archers ignore him at this point and head down the tunnels looking for other dwarves.  The goblin leader laughs.

Lokum lurches to his feet and charges the goblin.  The attack misses, but they collide and goblin and dwarf collapse in a pile on the ground.  Lokum draws back and solidly punches the goblin in the center of the back.  The hammer goblin breaks clear and stands up, but he is certainly hurt.  He is also no longer laughing.  The nearby archers start firing again and Lokum is struck by half a dozen copper arrows.

The hammer goblin closes in to finish things off.  Lokum rolls into the goblin to avoid the attack and takes the opportunity to bite the goblin in the right leg and grab a solid hold on the left leg.  Their field of fire temporarily blocks the archers shift position.  The hammer goblin struggles to break free.

Lokum suddenly stands and starts shaking and swinging the hammer goblin about.  Two more arrows strike home, including one into the already serious lower body wound.  Undeterred, the goblin is shaken about a few more times and then tossed across the tunnel.  Exhausted, Lokum finally surrenders to the pain and collapses to the tunnel floor.  Before he passes out he gets the joy of watching the hammer goblin expire.  His first kill after twelve years in the fortress.

===

Twenty-two wounded areas in red status.  The dwarf survived, and then walked out of the hospital two months later wearing four casts, splints, and a pile of sutures.

wow you should rename him to the proverbial "Lucky" cause he sure is lucky and also reward your doctor dwarfs for taking such great care of him lol

[GoombaGeek]

ONE YEAR LATER

~~~~~~~~~~

"Ririli, last year's trade caravan never came back. As the Supreme Druidical Priest of the Holy Elf Order, I appoint you to mount an expedition to track down our missing traders."
"Yesh shir! No shir! We will shucceed, shir!"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Urist, it's that time of year again. Come outside with me, I have a job for you."
"Outside? Year? How long's a year again?"
"Just follow me."
"Oh god! What the hell is that blue thing up there? It's so huge! Is it a... aarrgh... blegh..."
"See that purple thing over there?"
"You mean the place where the useless crap gets dropped off and is never seen again? So that's what it looks like from the outside! And what's that insid- eww!"
"It's our job to hide those elf skeletons before another elf caravan gets here. With luck, we can milk 'em for ten years' worth of cloth before they catch on."
"What's that rumbling?! Is that blue thing going to eat us?!!"
"It's the caravan! Too late! Duck and cover!!"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you shure thish is the right place? Half of it'sh raining blood and the other half'sh dug sho much it'sh like it'sh inshide out. How unnassheral."
"Yup, from the map they made last year, this is definitely their third stop, Doomedcity! Let's go investigate and try to sell this damned cloth to the heathens!"
"Ish that a skelet-"
"HEY ELVES! IT'S ME, URISSssssBLEGH! Gack! Hobleh! ANYWAY, COME INSIDE FOR A BIT! WE HAVE LOTS OF FUN STUFF TO SHOW YOU!! NEVER MIND PARKING THE CARAVAN!!"
"Fun shtuff? I love fun shtuff! Maybe it'sh another one of those weird mini-forgesh!"
*ten minutes later*
"So, uh, this is our entrance hall, and this is a secret happy fun lever that you mustn't touch, and here's where we grow thousands of questionable purple fungi, and here's, uh, our Hall of Engraving-"
"That one looks like an elf getting kicked in the head by a water buffalo!"
"That's, uh, your imagination! So, while our valet parks your caravan, would you like a tour of our craftsmanship rooms?"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Bomrek, the skeleton's stuck. It won't move."
"Dammit! Those elves will be back any second and you're telling me their predecessors' skeletons are stuck under a bin of *rope reed cloth* that you can't even move?!"
"Quick, get your Home Masonry Kit and wall this place off!!"
"Hello! Did we mish anything while we were touring your environmentally uncertified fortressh?!"
"Hey! You! Unload all your cloth and wait right there! Yes, there! Now don't move!!"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Pull the lever? I hope you've told them something so they don't get worried. Pulling levers all day is hard on the triceps, you know."
"No! Damn! Pull the lever NOW! PULL IT! I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS!!"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, that big ol' bridgesh is lifting up! Wow, it sure does fit that hole in the wall perfectly! In fact, if those nice dwarvesh weren't working on the underground exit hallway we'd be totally shtuck-"
"There's a floodgate blocking the hallway."
"..."
"..."
"If you die firsht I dibs eating you."

~~~TIME PASSES~~~

"Gaaaaah..."
"Ugggrrrrrghhhshhhh..."
"I'd eat a tree right now..."
"Don't talk to me about treesh!"

~~~MORE TIME PASSES~~~

"Aaaarghh!! AAAARRGGHHHH!!"
"No! That'sh a shkeleton! You can't eat it!!"
"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Urist, you reckon they're crazy by now?"
"No, the primal screams we heard were probably just a stress-relieving exercise."
"Shut up! I'm pulling the lever this time!"
"No! You fool! You aren't qualified to-"

~~~~~~~~~~

"DOOR OPEN! KILL DORF! KILL ALL DORF! AAAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!"
"KILL DORF!! KILL DORF!! KILL DORF!! AND SHPINNY ROUND BLADEY THINGS AREN'T GOING TO SHTOP US A

As fun as water buffalo are, there's just something more reliable about serrated disc traps. And now their elven clothing is sorted by body part on individual tiles! The best part is how I get free plants and clothes every year. Actually, no, the best part is carving rudely engraved memorial slabs and placing them in a series of hallways that cunningly spell "LOL FAG" to prevent their ghosts from haunting us. The third best part is having a lever system to co-ordinate all this elf starvation/insanity.

[Broseph Stalin]

I decided to declare open season on the elves. Both guards and one trader died easilly at the hands of the militia but one managed to escape. I sent two unarmed thugs to beat him to death but he broke ones wrist and bit one in the foot then again escaped. I sent a dwarf with a kobolds dagger to kill him but the elf shatters his ribcage with a kick. Then as the elf is running across the bridge spanning the volcano the main gate slams shut. As he turns one of the bridges rectracts. He's now trapped in a 5x5 box with an open roof and one open wall. The siege operator mans the ballista aiming right at him and the marksdwarves pile onto the rim of the box. As I order them to fire he goes melancholy and he jumps directly into the mouth of the volcano.

[adseculus]

The miner had been possesed by strange forces and had been driven berserk by the whispers, so it was up to the militia captain to put an end to his rampage. The militia captain charged down to the mason's workshop and FALCON PUNCHED the insane miner in the lower body tearing him in half. Standing atop his ruined corpse the militia captain was promptly renamed "Stronginthearm" and her profession set to "Punchy"