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[EmperorJon]

Couldn't resist starting one of my own...

You Are A Spaceship Pilot!

Here you are, sat in the cockpit of your spaceship!
Wait, what!?
What spaceship is this? Who are you? Where's everyone else? Why are you on your own in deep space?

Spoiler: "You/Your Belongings" (click to show/hide)

1x Spaceship of unknown description.
You're sat in the cockpit of the aforementioned ship. There is a door to a corridor behind you, another seat next to you, and the controls and front screen infront of you.

What do you do?

[LordSlowpoke]

Move to the seat next to you.

[EmperorJon]

That was a long enough wait I think...

The seat's screen mainly deals with navigation and piloting.
You move to the seat next to you.
This seat seems to have a screen listing various different information regarding the ship's current status; weaponry, cargo, life support, and the like.
There are various things on this screen that catch your eye...

Spoiler: "You/Your Belongings" (click to show/hide)

1x Spaceship of unknown description.
You're sat in the cockpit of the aforementioned ship. There is a door to a corridor behind you, another seat next to you, and the controls and front screen infront of you. There are things on the screen which you should probably look at.

What do you do?

[sayaks]

Start pushing random buttons, and don't stop if something bad hqppens.

[lawastooshort]

Strip to your underpants, grab your spacerifle, and take up position covering the door.

[Mr. Palau]

Search the ship for an instruction manual. If unable to find one proceed to:

Start pushing random buttons, and don't stop if something bad hqppens.

[jaxy15]

Search the ship for an instruction manual. If unable to find one proceed to:

Start pushing random buttons, and don't stop if something bad hqppens.

+1

[EmperorJon]

You look around the cockpit/cabin but it is largely devoid of anything which looks like a cupboard or other storage receptacle, so you abandon your search for a manual and begin attacking the console. You press a strangely marked button on the touch screen. None of the commands are in your native language, or indeed seem to use any understandable alphabet.
A voice stirs into motion after the button press.

"Thank you for logging in... Dave. Would you like to review the ship's manual? Even a respected and well-trained pilot like you can often find information in the manual to their advantage."

Spoiler: "You/Your Belongings" (click to show/hide)

1x Spaceship of unknown description.
You're sat in the cockpit of the aforementioned ship. A voice thinks you're called Dave.

[Mullet Master]

Yell at the computer
"I don't speak no gobbletygook you pile of outdated chips! Switch the language to ENGGGG-LIIISH"

You have a strange craving for freeze dried food, so you get up and SEARCH FOR FOOD.

[jaxy15]

Try to answer "yes".

[OscomGafarade]

Request that all instructions be translated into Russian.

[EmperorJon]

You ask to be shown the manual, but to translate it into Russian.

"Oh, I apologise Dave. I forgot your strange politic... habits... I'll translate the interface. It's just *EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEekjafjjfoooooooooooooo* usually uses that monitor."

A ringing noise and garbled speech ending in a low hum replaces what seems to be a name...

Stuff: Same as before.