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Author Topic: the hag of pears (more epic than it sounds)  (Read 1679 times)

redex 1000

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the hag of pears (more epic than it sounds)
« on: June 10, 2012, 01:28:59 pm »

ive been given my first titan. it was a sluaghterfest of webbing. 5 minutesafter I call up my friend on skype i get the notification of this terror.

the beasts name was Ini womsans.
it was a giant hadrosuartwas without eyes, had wings, and it BREATHED WEBS LIKE A DRAGIN WOULD FIRE.
after coming onto the map it stood absolutly still for a dwarven day. then it went into a bloody rampage and started charging at my peahens. at this point i sent my militia to defend my poor birds.... then the fun begins. the first dwarf arives at the scene and proceeds to be webbed. the beast turns back to the birds and reindeer and noms on them happilly. urist mcsuicide breaks free of the webs and continues to charge out alone... and is theroughly webbed to death. soon urist and ast mcbigdamnhero jump out to save the day!... urist is webbed to death and ast is punched in half. by now dwarves are coming in droves to get urist mcsuicides socks. finnally whats left of my militia charges out to challenge Ini. (so far i lost my two best markdwarves, my fastest tracker, all my warpeahens, a dog, 40% of my shearers, my entire wordcrafting population, and little timmy.) the militia is pushed back too the inside of my fort, and a pissed milker joins in and pummels the beasts right foot. the beast progresses too my workshops, webbing dwarves here and their. after three more webbings, a nickname (the hag of pears), an entire page of damages, and some  blind luck, finally the beast is overwhelmed by pain and falls unconcious. after two minutes of straight beating we finnally kill the titan. luckily my favirote dwarves have surivived the fight. even luckier still is that the titan DIED RIGHT INSIDE THE BUTCHER SHOP. best of all all the webbing thats been left on the ground can go towards clothing urist mcbirthdaysuit.

so ends the tale of the hag of pears, now to keep some ghosts from tearing out lungs... maybe even take care of the one in the plumbing. until next time, im off!
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Loud Whispers

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Re: the hag of pears (more epic than it sounds)
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2012, 01:34:37 pm »

it BREATHED WEBS LIKE A DRAGIN WOULD FIRE.

+1 epic simile

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: the hag of pears (more epic than it sounds)
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2012, 01:37:25 pm »

Impressive. Very amusing writing style.
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ledgekindred

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Re: the hag of pears (more epic than it sounds)
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2012, 01:50:29 pm »

It sounds like you just barely got out of a ....

 8)

... sticky situation.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
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I don't understand, though that is about right with anything DF related.
I just hope he dies the same death that all dwarfs deserve: liver disease.
The legend of Reg: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65866.0
Atir Stigildegel, Legless Hero of Diamondrelic: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=83136.0

melkorp

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Re: the hag of pears (more epic than it sounds)
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2012, 02:15:54 pm »

the titan DIED RIGHT INSIDE THE BUTCHER SHOP.

clutch!  that will never, ever happen again
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He he he.  Yeah, it almost looks done...  alas...  those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties...  those in your twenties, your thirties...  others, cling to life as you are able...It should be pretty fun though.

HiEv

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Re: the hag of pears (more epic than it sounds)
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2012, 10:27:01 pm »

Nice.

BTW, here's the hadrosaur image you tried to post:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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