Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Devling]

Hello all adventurers! Welcome to this thread, have a seat.
Listen or tell a story of your expeirince(s) during your journeys.
Why myself jus' finished an adventure, tracking Tob the Lizard demon, and some One eyed brute.
Well, ye might ask, did you come to this quest? Well, my journey started in the frozen south, in a tiny hamlet.
I had traveled from the evil lands even farther south, which are nothing but frozen wastelands and evil trogs!
Indeed, the battles I had as a pup, but that is a diffrent tale. ANYHOW, That was I, sitting in the middle o' the snow, with nothin' ta my name but a spear and a lil' knife. Well, as ya mighta gathered I was none to happy to sit in the snow and freeze to death!
So, I walked into the nearest tiny house, which was packed wit' bodys, and all a clamourin'! Many were simple farmers, but one fellah' worked with stone, and respectin' tha I chat'd 'im up. 'E told me about the surronden area and tha' was were I learned o' the beast o' legend, the one eye'd brute! O' course, he failed ta mention Tob, the lizard demon. Toward's the end o' the conversation he said somthin' about a trog causin' trouble down in an ice cave. Well, if you thought I woldn't take a trip back 'ome to kill an ol' trog, 'ell, you don't know me! (and you just met me and don't know me but tha' not the point) So, I packed up me spear and 'eaded down south... again... Well, it was 'ather uneventful trip, but I 'ad a little boar on the way. Once I 'ad found the bugger and descend in ta the cave I came upon the bastard. With me well honed skill and strength I through the spear straight into 'is leg, and 'e felled down and flopped like a fish! Atleast I 'eard fish flop, I only seen one once, and it ate my grand ma'... But I digress, once I 'ad killed ma mark and headed back to the lil' 'amlet. So, wanderin' about I came upon another tiny house, crammed full a' people shoutin' and fightin' and laughin', 'cause tha's the only thing ya can do in a winter time. So, comin' in for some jollies I found a nice 'nough lookin' fella, but he was creepily atachted to 'is whip, and was clad in lotsa leather, which is fairly suspect. So, I bragge'd about the nice 'ole I 'ad made in the trogs face! He seem'd ta respect tha' and we hit it off. So, we chatted for a while, and this was the first time I had heard of ol' Tob up in Rosecage, the capital. Now, this intrigued me, bein' a LIZARD DEMON, sittin' in the captial city and all, so I decided to kill him! Why ye might wonder? Well, me and ma' folks are know far huntin' down the demons and killin' 'em. Sa' I said, "Les' go and beat up the bugger!" And the leather man said tha' was a bad idea, but he liked somthin' about my spunk, so 'ead follow me to glory and death! Well, we started headin' north, and neither' o' us bein' familiar with the area we stubled into a lair, on the way to a city we thought was Rosecage. Well, deciding tha' we might aswell go down and rid the townsfolks a' some monstars. So, we 'eaded down a lil' slope inta' a lil' cave and ya coulda never guessed what waited us there. A lil' girl! I 'ave know idea why she was there, but she was ravid and stark naked! Twas' a sad sight indeed... So I decided to end her misery, went down without a noise, really quite sad... With heavy harts we 'eaded inta the big city. Or atleast I thought we did. When I got ta the town, lo, me companion was nowhere! I didn't know if 'ed buggered off or frozen or gotten a lil' giddy and tried to whip a boar! Well, then I was on my lonesome. So, I 'eaded inta town, and seein' as it was a little late I crashed with a buncha drunkards. So, in the mornin', I talked to quite a chatty fellow. He congrutaled me on killin' the little girl, which was very odd, and told me that Rose cage was just a little ways up. So, upon learnin' that Rosecage was a hop, skip, and a jump to the north east I headed out, but before that I the chatty man told me about a' blessed hill or somethin', which I noted as me next adventure.
Leavin' the town I 'eaded towards Rosecage, and in not 'alf a day I found it! A nice fort wit' stone walls and guards with smashin' things! I walked right through the main gate and found to strappin' lads with a mace and a hamma! Knowin' the Tob was probably kickin' it in the main goverment buildin', I headed that way, but then I saw something odd on the ground. It was titled, "Order Cross", and, upon the fact tha' I 'ad learned about the written language from an old hag, I read it. I 'ad to wipe me eyes out with snow. It was a long diary about Tob's self loathing, and was quite cruel. It was also 149 pages, and the writing would embarass Ms.Meyer... Well, after reading that I 'ad to kill the bastard! Well, not ten steps away lied something worse then the Order Cross, It Most Have Been Deformity, written by Ugou, the one eyed brute, for Ugou, the one eyed brute. IT WAS EVEN LONGER.
I think ma eyes bleed a lil' at the end. THAN ANOTHER BOOK BY LOB, A SELF HATING ESSAY! These were the most effiminate demons I've ever heard of! Lob, the angsty 1000 something, and Ugou, the One eyed beuty! They made me throw my lunch, or would 'ave if I 'ad 'ad some lunch. Filled with rage at the literature abomination I had just read I rushed up a nearby tower, looking for Lob or the brute! That was when I found the mother load. A room fulla armor and weapons! I nearly wept fa joy!
Soon, I was armored in octupos leather armor, some gloves, a cape and was wielding the finest of iron battleaxes, with a complmientary iron buckler. I was ready.

I entered a room with 4 statues an' stairs down. One the brute of rain, one of brown recluses, one of a demon of waxy opal, and one of a human.
Shiverin', I crossed the room and descend the stairs.


Truly what I saw was awesome. Crimson hair growing in between it's thick, glossy, green scales. It's emmense form moved with an unnatural rthym, waving, hyponitizing. Dust softly drifted from its form, glistening with an unnatural light. In it's immense claw was Choose, the lizard fiend. The thing before me was 'naught but a god, a diety. Lob, The demon lizard fiend, THE ONE TRUE GOD.

"Behold mortal. I am Tob, I know why you have come."
"What are ya'?"
"I...Am...A...Master."

That was it. I prepared ma' weapon and called my companions, to fight a diety, to kill a god. My heart sat in my throat like a heavy weight.

I swung my axe.

Then they turned. More loyal to their god then me, they turned.

In a booming voice, Tob spoke these words.

"I am Tob!"
"Slayer of Mistwhip, who sought my praise, only to be rejected with death!"
"Strangler of Splashedtempest, druid of the Sweetness of Routs, whose fragile bones shattered before the might of my contempt!"
"PREPARE TO DIE!"

A hot stream of dust ripped into the brainwashed slaves and my alike, as I parryied shots from both.
I threw myself behind a pillar, trying to saves ma hide.
Blows, from the frozen mist, came like rain.
It was over in seconds.

So, that is how I came to be in this place, surronded by the dead. So, tell me, how did you die adventurer? Don't be shy."


Piware Remofewothana Pelese Ade
AKA Decievere, conqueror, writer of sappy romance
Achievements
Decived The nation of Sacks into thinking he was Lob
Led dozens of attacks on elves and goblins
Became master of the nation of Sacks
Tamed cougars, one humped camels, and everything inbetween
Wrote novels like, Fact or Fiction, Choose the Lizard Fiend, and The  Art of the Princess
Killed Struga Talkcontain

[Broseph Stalin]

Already in "what's going on" but it bears repeating.

Picked up a posse of bored townspeople to go on an adventure with my unarmed fighter human. Turned out to be pretty epic.

 An elven bone carver, a dwarven armorer, a human trader, and a human weaver lead by a human wrestler all challenged a jaguar of the southern wilds. On the way back the group stopped to rest and woke to find themselves surrounded. Trapped on all sides by Kobolds arrows sang as they cut the air and passed within inches off their targets. In the group quickly became separated trying to focus their sleep blurred eyes on one enemy knowing that there were ten or more that they couldn't see, dodging from pure instinct against the hail of shimmering arrows that sliced through the blackness of the night. One mistep spelled certain death.  Then a visceral howl came from the shadows, dingos.

An entire pack savage with hunger set upon the kobolds and the adventurers joining in the melee. Tooth and blade collided as the raiders and the beasts and the adventurers brought their force to bear. Each group was bound by unbreakable coven, to their families who needed pilfered loot to survive, to the pack that bore and raised them, to the friends they'd sworn to protect. Hatred honor and hunger raged like dread storms as the sounds of combat echoed in the night. Each combatant inspired by primal strength fear and determination laid their life on the battle field but went into the breach unaware that the angel of death walked among them.

With newfound fury Osman Darkseer, The Trade of Cacti lashed out with fist and foot every blow finding it's mark and leaving shattered bones and writhing victims in it's wake. Dingos fell on him only to be rebuked with a single deadly stroke connecting with their heads and killing them where they stood. The light armor of Kobolds gave under the terrifying impact that splintered bones and pureed organs. The screams of agony, anguish, and unmistakable fear split the night as the foe fell in droves to the impossibly fast warrior. The beasts and bandits learned their mistake too late, only they who hunted predators would be caught in this trap.

Darkseer grew more frantic in the chaos searching for his comrades before they fell. The weaver lie broken, two shattered dingoes at his feet and a kobold standing over him bow drawn. With no warning an iron booted foot reduced the kobolds ribcage to shrapnel and drove the fragments into it's heart.  The elf was set upon by a dingo jaws tightly clamped around her head, it never saw the blow that struck it down. The dwarf returned triumphant boasting the slayings of two dingos and a kobold. The Merchant came from the north his hand a bloody, hastilly wrapped stump. He killed only one dingo and paid for it a hefty price. The elf was injured beyond help and before the sun rose she had died.

The party moved northward, less cocky now. They knew that overconfidence had dire costs. They went without rest to return to the safety of the city and put the grisly battle behind them an lay the elf to rest in the catacombs. By chance they stumbled upon a vast structure of pillars. Inquisitively but cautiously they explored the surroundings looking for any sign of the shrine's purpose. Osman peeked over a sharp cliff and discovered first vast riches in coins an weapons strewn about, second a great pile of corpses, and if he saw the titan it was too late to act. The infernal moth ensnared him in it's webs but before disappeared into it's with it's terrible maw it's great head fell to the ground.

With a single stroke of his silver knife the merchant cleanly severed the head of the titan and claimed it's vast treasures for the party. Reinvigored by their victory the party made the final push north. Home was in sight. All that remained was the great river, deep and wide it separated them from friendly shores. Osman was first in the water and first to see the danger. Alligators. The dwarf and merchant were snapped up quickly. They drew their blades to fight but they were hopelessly outmatched. Osman swam to save the merchant first trying to distract the beast by kicking at it's small legs. As the water filled with blood and the beast refused sank it's jaws into the merchants hand Osmanrefused to bury another comrade,  an ancient oath was broken. Darkseer pulled from his pack an iron blade inscribed with images of a forgotten order and with a single expert stroke cleanly separated the alligators head from it's body.

The dwarf was the poorest swimmer and as his lungs filled with water he saw Osman Darkseer drive a blade into the black heart of the beast that slew him. The body was hauled to shore and Osman stood with the Merchant waited for the weaver to join them. A cry of anguish came from the river and the pair flew to the aid of their wounded comrade. Lying on the shore the weaver's right arm an left leg had been torn from his body by an unseen sturgeon. Against all odds the weaver survived, dragging himself along the ground fast enough to keep up with his allies. When they reached the capitol they felt none of the joy they had anticipated. The weaver lost an arm and leg, the merchant lost the use of one hand and the entirety of the other, the elf and the dwarf were both slung over the shoulders of the disgraced Osman Darkseer.  They laid their dead to rest in the catacombs and told the holy leader the First Beer of their victories and losses over the jaguar, the kobold chief, the titan, and the beasts of the river. Pleased with their victories he begged of them another service, the slaying of a cave dragon to the east.

The three battered warriors swore again to go again to venture into the wilds, to wander the earth for the rest of their days fighting wickedness wherever it may rest it's head. To pay the cost of valor one thousand times over, to avenge the dead, to justify the killing to fight for their kingom until the bitter end.

[Devling]

I just meant it as an introduction story to invite people to tell their epic dead adventurer storys.

[Corai]

You got a little girl werecreature.


I got a little boy weregirrafe. That killed me with a backpack. Gotta love dwarf fortress.....

[Devling]

You got a little girl werecreature.


I got a little boy weregirrafe. That killed me with a backpack. Gotta love dwarf fortress.....

I think I'm stupid...

[Corai]

You got a little girl werecreature.


I got a little boy weregirrafe. That killed me with a backpack. Gotta love dwarf fortress.....

I think your on the wrong thread...

Not really, I commented on his story. But yeah, off topic, sorry.