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Author Topic: So, I had a carp problem.  (Read 703 times)

Nullnostalgia

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So, I had a carp problem.
« on: April 03, 2012, 06:57:19 pm »

So I had a carp problem... like, 24+ of the wee bastards swimming around in the river and generally being a nuisance to my dwarves- and in one case, a fatality. Drowned one of my fisherdwarves...

And then he came.

I gave him a name, Nazush Reg, Blood Glove. He was a pike. A mere pike.

And he killed all those carp. All of them, to point where my units screen is LITTERED with messages of carp dying.

:<. I think it was Fish-Armok, and I want your opinion Bay12. How should I commerate that glorious pike, for purging my river of the accursed hellbeast and making my waterfall safe again?
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Vanaheimer

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Re: So, I had a carp problem.
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2012, 07:01:33 pm »

Build a shrine at the river, and keep him inside it. Once a year, on the first day of spring, have a child thrown to him.
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Nullset

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Re: So, I had a carp problem.
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2012, 07:15:08 pm »

Build a shrine at the river, and keep him inside it. Once a year, on the first day of spring, have a child thrown to him.
THOU MUST.  THIS A THOUSAND TIMES.
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I put together a two-person marksdwarf squad and sent them to stand *near* the river, without crossing it, hoping they'd shoot down at the goblins. Didn't work; one marksdwarf went to the side of the river, spotted the two goblins still alive, and jumped right in, whereupon he was killed by the dingos. Goblins eventually died, too, but the dingos are still hanging out. They've been down there about two years.

Loud Whispers

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Re: So, I had a carp problem.
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2012, 07:23:42 pm »

An avatar of Armok in fish form.

Shrine is mandatory.

Gem windows.

Giant pool.

Filled with blood laced water.

And introduce some other pike, from this mighty avatar an army shall be raised.

Corai

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Re: So, I had a carp problem.
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2012, 07:26:27 pm »

Shrine with floors, so he doesnt get caught by a fisherdwarf.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Loud Whispers

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Re: So, I had a carp problem.
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2012, 07:31:37 pm »

Pike cannot be caught by mere fisherdwarfs.

Naryar

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Re: So, I had a carp problem.
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2012, 07:40:23 pm »

Not dwarfy enough.

Mod in a syndrome that will shapeshift him into a elephant-sized, ironclad, firebreathing, magma-blooded, evil, intelligent pike, possibly with deadly poison bite as well, THEN after this build an iron and obsidian temple to him.

Try and make him a megabeast as well, and make him kill useless migrants so your dwarves will actually worship him !

Make him earn a very cool name as well.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2012, 07:42:26 pm by Naryar »
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NW_Kohaku

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Re: So, I had a carp problem.
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2012, 07:40:35 pm »

Actually, that's not terribly unrealistic. 

Pike are big, predatory fish.  They're actually known for killing basically everything else in the rivers and lakes that they are introduced to, and are hated by fishermen for killing off all their game fish.
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Personally, I like [DF] because after climbing the damned learning cliff, I'm too elitist to consider not liking it.
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