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Author Topic: Parfum pas dwarf  (Read 993 times)

GhostDwemer

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Parfum pas dwarf
« on: March 23, 2012, 05:11:28 pm »
So, let's say I wanted to start an etsy shop that sells dwarf scented perfume. Besides "bits of real panther" which I figure is a must for the base notes, what would go in dwarf scented perfume? Iron filings? Cat leather? What do dwarven beards smell like?
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Sphalerite

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Re: Parfum pas dwarf
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2012, 05:13:23 pm »
Vomit, blood and booze?
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GhostDwemer

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Re: Parfum pas dwarf
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2012, 05:15:11 pm »
Perfect! I figure any kind of vomit would do but what KIND of blood and booze?
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Garath

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Re: Parfum pas dwarf
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2012, 05:59:17 pm »
blood and ale, for sure, maybe some cat milk
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Sphalerite

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Re: Parfum pas dwarf
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2012, 06:38:49 pm »
Dwarf and/or kitten blood.  And dwarven wine, for the plump helmet is the most universal of dwarven foods.
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MenacesWithSpikes

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Re: Parfum pas dwarf
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2012, 09:04:23 pm »
Should probably be cologne, not perfume.  (I imagine female dwarves wear cologne, too.  Goes well with the female dwarf beards.)  Perfume is too elfy.

Heh.  It just occurred to me... Dwarves would use "Axe," of course.
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NonconsensualSurgery

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Re: Parfum pas dwarf
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2012, 10:23:28 pm »
I imagine that each fortress has its own, unique scent.

No two are alike.
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MenacesWithSpikes

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Re: Parfum pas dwarf
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2012, 10:32:28 pm »
My current fortress, Anvilring, smells strongly of limestone and goblin/troll blood.  It also smells of iron ore, charred wood (and dwarves) from dragon's breath, roasting dragon meat, and forgotten beast ichor.
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Quote from: Loud Whispers
Leave anything to chance, eventually the RNG will roll a 1 and everything will erupt in a fountain of magma and vomit.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Parfum pas dwarf
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2012, 07:03:58 am »
Miasma in a bottle.
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GhostDwemer

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Re: Parfum pas dwarf
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2012, 02:03:51 pm »
Urist Fantana: [about Fikod] I'll give this little fox biscuit an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.
[opens cologne cabinet]
Zon Burgundy: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? Mountainhome Gentledwarf, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight.
Urist Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Titan by Miasma. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real titan so you know it's good.
Zon Burgundy: It's quite pungent.
Urist Fantana: Oh yeah.
Zon Burgundy: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Urist Fantana: Yep.
Zon Burgundy: Urist, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like rotting yak carcass.
Urist Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
[cheese eating grin]
Zon Burgundy: That doesn't make sense.
Urist Fantana: Well... Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.

...

Fikod Corningstone: By Armok, what is that smell? Oh.
Urist Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady.
Fikod Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... elf food. Oh, excuse me.
Urist Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people.
Potash Maker: [Disgusted] What is that? Smells like a dead goblin covered in burnt kittens.
Miller: [Horrified] Smells like a Cyclop's dick!
Urist Fantana: [Tries to act casual and walk away] Woah, what's that smell?

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Rude

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Re: Parfum pas dwarf
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2012, 02:27:13 pm »
Somehow this gave me the impression of a Sims / Dwarf Fortress hybrid.
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