Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Sallen]

I have stumbled upon a human fortress with a gigantic noseless gopher as its master:

Vucar Uthgúrelcur Angzaknekol
A gigantic noseless gopher twisted into humanoid form. It has a bloated body. Its pale brown hair is unkempt. Beware its noxious secretions!
He is very fat.

Its symbol is '&' and all other creatures in the fortress are humans.
Oh, and apparently I'm in the capital.

EDIT: After my adventurer was raped to death by flying copper bolts I took a look at the legends and found this:

In the midsummer of 1, the pale brown monster Vucar Demonplagues the Terrible Skulls fooled The Confederation of Actions into believing he was a manifestation of the deity Cish Wavemorning. Cish Wave morning was a deity often depicted as a male human  associated with murder, death, rivers, lakes, fish, oceans and coasts. Cool.

Then he proceeded to create the position of master "pushed by a wave of popular support".

JUST HOW COOL IS THIS GAME?!

[Yoink]

Humans are often gullible creatures, plainly this terrifying figure has swayed them to its service with promises of wealth and glory... Or perhaps he simply had the best campaign speech?
However he came to rule the humans, you shouldn't have much to fear from him, as long as you don't provoke him. Perhaps the mighty Vucar might have a task for you?
Also, once your adventure meets his inevitable demise (or retires), you should check Vucar out in Legends mode.

[Sallen]

I don't think The Confederation of Actions will appreciate it duly, but I'm going to (try to) free them from this impostor's rule.
Do you think I stand a chance if I try to ambush him and stab his head with a spear?

[Yoink]

Er... You never know if you don't try!
But I'd advise finding a nearby civilization, preferably an enemy of the Confederation, and recruiting some of their warriors to aid you in such an endeavor. Especially since he's in a fortress, surrounded by soldiers...
Good luck, though!

[Loud Whispers]

!!!WOO NOSELESS GOPHER 2012!!!111!!1

[Kriby]

It was the gopher or Sarah Palin..

[Hotaru]

But did you ever think that Palin might be the gopher?

After all, we don't know how Dwarf Fortress aesthetics compare to human ones. Maybe what we would call ceaseless talkativeness and scurrying, and huge, artificial front teeth made of what looks like calcite in a menacing mouth, DF would call "A gigantic noseless gopher twisted into human form. It is ravening. Its chemical residue colored hair is in a bun. Beware its thirst for warm blood!"

[Urist Da Vinci]

I don't think The Confederation of Actions will appreciate it duly, but I'm going to (try to) free them from this impostor's rule.
Do you think I stand a chance if I try to ambush him and stab his head with a spear?

Nope.

It probably wears deflector shield clothing, due to quirky game mechanics. It's also a legendary warrior. You need to become a legendary yourself, and use a blunt weapon.