Bay 12 Games Forum

Whoo nelly jelly belly, I sure, uh, kinda forgot to update this for months. Nice going, me.

Xantalos Behemoths:
1. Standing meditation or moving qigong every day. Being lazy about this really led to me falling out of practice and fucked with my mental health last year, so I wanna do this consistently, even if it's only 5 minutes.
2. Reach 15 minutes in the dun hou shi exercise. I've been saying I'll get to this for years now, and it's past time I shut up and did it. Compatible with #1.
3. Write a book. First draft, published, I don't really care, but I wanna do it. I'll settle for a completed short story if I have to.
4. Write creatively every day. This is more to the point of getting in the habit of setting aside time to focus.
5. Figure out how to make a living doing writing stuff. From initial research this seems to be freelance or remote work, but I'll have to keep investigating. Goal here is to make a decent wage from writing-adjacent stuff without factoring in income from other work.
6. Do at least one bone conditioning session a week. Arms, legs, don't really care, just wanna do it.
7. Finish one of my quests. This seems to be a big hurdle for me and I want to get over it. Stretch goal would be finishing both currently active ones.

1. Yeah, been relatively good about this. Only skipped the one day when I was too sick to do much and was better off resting.
2. Haven't actually practiced this for a month, but I'm confident I'll get back up there soon enough.
3. On the backburner still.
4. Not *every* day, but pretty close in the last while. Think it's been like 2 or 3 days without at the max, which is great compared to my previous habits.
5. Investigating other fields, but as of right now no progress. Money's getting tighter, but perhaps a little pressure is necessary to force me to actually do things. Personal training licenses aren't that hard to achieve, in any case.
6. Sporadic practice only. Might be able to make this more of a feature now that I'm done my month-long streak of a certain meditative thing.
7. Continued progress, but this'll definitely be a long-haul goal if I accomplish it at all this year.

All in all ... not much actual progress, but I'm feeling alright about myself so far. Continuing to try stuff, which is important.

Last year started pretty good, ended ... mixed at best. It got made very clear that I need to advocate for myself more and establish boundaries better, as well as just actually do the things I wanna do rather than wondering about what ifs. With that in mind, this is only a partial list right now, but I'm hoping to build on it as I go.

Xantalos Behemoths:
1. Standing meditation or moving qigong every day. Being lazy about this really led to me falling out of practice and fucked with my mental health last year, so I wanna do this consistently, even if it's only 5 minutes.
2. Reach 15 minutes in the dun hou shi exercise. I've been saying I'll get to this for years now, and it's past time I shut up and did it. Compatible with #1.
3. Write a book. First draft, published, I don't really care, but I wanna do it. I'll settle for a completed short story if I have to.
4. Write creatively every day. This is more to the point of getting in the habit of setting aside time to focus.
5. Figure out how to make a living doing writing stuff. From initial research this seems to be freelance or remote work, but I'll have to keep investigating. Goal here is to make a decent wage from writing-adjacent stuff without factoring in income from other work.
6. Do at least one bone conditioning session a week. Arms, legs, don't really care, just wanna do it.
7. Finish one of my quests. This seems to be a big hurdle for me and I want to get over it. Stretch goal would be finishing both currently active ones.
8. TBD

I'll post progress reports at the end of every month. Best of luck to everyone!

So, I, uh, didn't really do any checking in on these goals for most of the latter half of 2022. Things kinda got tough, but not really, but kinda. But let's see what we managed.

1. Practice some form of qigong or internal kung fu every day this year, or as close as I can manage. The occasional day missed is fine, but no big stretches without anything.

Had some quite long stretches where I didn't do anything, buuuuuut I did manage a good chunk of the year where I was doing stuff really consistently, so I'm gonna count this as a partial.

2. Get better at fingertip pushups. Ideally be able to do 50 in a single set.

Managed 50 the once, and have since fallen back to ... I don't know how many I can manage. I still do them though, so success!

3. Finish the current arc of my quest and start the next one. Be more consistent with updates, dammit.

Had a period where I totally burned out towards the last three/four months of the year, so this one's a nope.

4. Put effort towards learning another language - Czech or Chinese, either is fine.

Nooope. Maybe next year?

5. Get therapy (again). Address unresolved issues, figure out if I'm actually as autistic as I act, etc. General 'put effort towards continuing to better your mental wellbeing' slot.

Have been going to life coaching for 3 months, which ain't therapy, but it's helped! Success!

6. Write one original, not consciously based off another person or corporation's material thing. A short story, outline and partial draft of a novel, but something other than Warhammer stuff, as much as I love writing about lizardmen. Doesn't even matter if it gets shown to anyone or not.

Didn't actually finish it or get very far into it, but I did start a thing about a violent kung fu grandma. So fuck it, half success, points for starting.

7. Learn the long form of any style of taijiquan. Whether it's from that dvd or live instruction, just get that done.

GOAL COMPLETED! I can semi-reliably pull some of the moves off in grappling exchanges too.

8. Attempt to come to an answer about what career path I might like to pursue. At least spend time considering it. Will likely intersect with #5.

I have at long last come to the realization ... that I don't want to do the job I'm currently plunking away at. And that I've got to do some life reorganizing. Which is basically where I was at the year's start, but I've got what's a hopefully reinforced conviction so we'll call it a half point.

9. Make one (1) IRL friend around my age that is actually in local meatspace. Part of getting over chronic detachment from and disaffection towards people at large is making conscious effort to connect with people. This one might be mitigated by covid and/or zuckerberg shenanigans.

Instructions unclear, wound up with a supportive life partner.

4/9 completed, 3/9 partially done. If we tally partials as .5, that makes for 5.5/9, which is over 50%. A ...good year? Huh.

Know what, I'm gonna look at it that way. Any progress is good progress.

I still am! Just been ... elsewise occupied. It is somewhat meta for the comic though, aye.

1. Practice some form of qigong or internal kung fu every day this year, or as close as I can manage. The occasional day missed is fine, but no big stretches without anything.

Pretty much at minimum an hour of practice a day at this point. I may, perhaps, be getting a little obsessed. Just a bit.

2. Get better at fingertip pushups. Ideally be able to do 50 in a single set.

Reached 50! That was fast. I won't officially consider this goal reached until I can replicate the feat a few times, but ... yeah.

3. Finish the current arc of my quest and start the next one. Be more consistent with updates, dammit.

Been writing some more! Who knows, I might actually update within a month. That'd only make it ... 4, 5 months to write an update? God, that's slow even for me.

4. Put effort towards learning another language - Czech or Chinese, either is fine.

Mnegh, forgot about this. Got hit by choice paralysis while looking for what the best long-term language choice thing might be, classic mistake. I should just get a free trial of something and get started that way.

5. Get therapy (again). Address unresolved issues, figure out if I'm actually as autistic as I act, etc. General 'put effort towards continuing to better your mental wellbeing' slot.

Same as the verse before this, I'm not doing bad or anything but this specifically just hasn't been on my radar.

6. Write one original, not consciously based off another person or corporation's material thing. A short story, outline and partial draft of a novel, but something other than Warhammer stuff, as much as I love writing about lizardmen. Doesn't even matter if it gets shown to anyone or not.

Aaaaand back to nothing really here.

7. Learn the long form of any style of taijiquan. Whether it's from that dvd or live instruction, just get that done.

I think I've reached the 2/3 mark, or thereabouts - it's enjoyable!

8. Attempt to come to an answer about what career path I might like to pursue. At least spend time considering it. Will likely intersect with #5.

Yeah, no progress here.

9. Make one (1) IRL friend around my age that is actually in local meatspace. Part of getting over chronic detachment from and disaffection towards people at large is making conscious effort to connect with people. This one might be mitigated by covid and/or zuckerberg shenanigans.

I've had a pretty decent level of social interactions in general this week, I'll call that reaching the goal. This one seems to be evolving into more of a 'don't let yourself get socially isolated' thing anyhow.

All in all, I think I'm doing okay ... on the goals I've actually decided to work towards, that is.

Three weeks since I updated this. Huh. Time sure as hell flies.

1. Practice some form of qigong or internal kung fu every day this year, or as close as I can manage. The occasional day missed is fine, but no big stretches without anything.

Been learning and practicing pretty much consistently this whole year so far.

2. Get better at fingertip pushups. Ideally be able to do 50 in a single set.

Had to take a few rest days, but I'm back at it, just managed 48 in a row today.

3. Finish the current arc of my quest and start the next one. Be more consistent with updates, dammit.

A few hundred words - better than nothing!.

4. Put effort towards learning another language - Czech or Chinese, either is fine.

I've been procrastinating here, I've got the money. Might do German, it's an easier transition from English.

5. Get therapy (again). Address unresolved issues, figure out if I'm actually as autistic as I act, etc. General 'put effort towards continuing to better your mental wellbeing' slot.

No active deterioration or anything, but I also haven't put any effort into actively searching stuff out.

6. Write one original, not consciously based off another person or corporation's material thing. A short story, outline and partial draft of a novel, but something other than Warhammer stuff, as much as I love writing about lizardmen. Doesn't even matter if it gets shown to anyone or not.

Wrote up a backstory for an RPG character, who I'll likely be able to reuse elsewhere. Not an original work per se, but it's something.

7. Learn the long form of any style of taijiquan. Whether it's from that dvd or live instruction, just get that done.

Been having good progress here - think I'm about halfway through knowing this.

8. Attempt to come to an answer about what career path I might like to pursue. At least spend time considering it. Will likely intersect with #5.

Got a suggestion of trying out security as a line of work. I've got a compatible skillset, I'll admit, but I am also kinda hesitant towards the idea. Something to consider, at least.

9. Make one (1) IRL friend around my age that is actually in local meatspace. Part of getting over chronic detachment from and disaffection towards people at large is making conscious effort to connect with people. This one might be mitigated by covid and/or zuckerberg shenanigans.

Been meeting up with a friend here and there that I haven't had the chance to talk to in a while. Good dude, good to interact with him. I'll call that good.

Seven more days. Ostensibly, feels like longer.

1. Practice some form of qigong or internal kung fu every day this year, or as close as I can manage. The occasional day missed is fine, but no big stretches without anything.

Kind of a bare minimum here, but I’m keeping it up.

2. Get better at fingertip pushups. Ideally be able to do 50 in a single set.

Still on the daily. Up to 25 at once now.

3. Finish the current arc of my quest and start the next one. Be more consistent with updates, dammit.

Yeah, nada.

4. Put effort towards learning another language - Czech or Chinese, either is fine.

A few more weeks, then I’ll be able to afford something.

5. Get therapy (again). Address unresolved issues, figure out if I'm actually as autistic as I act, etc. General 'put effort towards continuing to better your mental wellbeing' slot.

Continuing the HealthyGamer slog. Stuff makes sense. Can’t afford actual therapy yet, of course.

6. Write one original, not consciously based off another person or corporation's material thing. A short story, outline and partial draft of a novel, but something other than Warhammer stuff, as much as I love writing about lizardmen. Doesn't even matter if it gets shown to anyone or not.

Yeah, not right now.

7. Learn the long form of any style of taijiquan. Whether it's from that dvd or live instruction, just get that done.

Gonna attempt to arrange something this week.

8. Attempt to come to an answer about what career path I might like to pursue. At least spend time considering it. Will likely intersect with #5.

Yeah, nothing to report here.

9. Make one (1) IRL friend around my age that is actually in local meatspace. Part of getting over chronic detachment from and disaffection towards people at large is making conscious effort to connect with people. This one might be mitigated by covid and/or zuckerberg shenanigans.

In an entirely predictable twist, I’ve caught feelings. Or rather, realized they never really left from the first time around. Long story. And now that’s an entirely different hurdle to cross. And still no progress on the initial goal.

Overall, this week has been … well, I haven’t outright fallen behind on anything. Gonna have to keep moving forward.

Christ, has it really only been seven days?

1. Practice some form of qigong or internal kung fu every day this year, or as close as I can manage. The occasional day missed is fine, but no big stretches without anything.

Still keeping this up fine.

2. Get better at fingertip pushups. Ideally be able to do 50 in a single set.

Been doing them daily. Up to 18 today, still below my probable 1-set max but won’t be long before I pass it.

3. Finish the current arc of my quest and start the next one. Be more consistent with updates, dammit.

Other things have precluded this.

4. Put effort towards learning another language - Czech or Chinese, either is fine.

No progress. Need to obtain money first.

5. Get therapy (again). Address unresolved issues, figure out if I'm actually as autistic as I act, etc. General 'put effort towards continuing to better your mental wellbeing' slot.

Slowly making my way through HealthyGamer material - quite a bit of it’s applicable, but I’ve got a lot to go through.

6. Write one original, not consciously based off another person or corporation's material thing. A short story, outline and partial draft of a novel, but something other than Warhammer stuff, as much as I love writing about lizardmen. Doesn't even matter if it gets shown to anyone or not.

My energy’s been focused on things other than writing.

7. Learn the long form of any style of taijiquan. Whether it's from that dvd or live instruction, just get that done.

Training session pending, may be a few weeks.

8. Attempt to come to an answer about what career path I might like to pursue. At least spend time considering it. Will likely intersect with #5.

It’s apparent that there’s other dilemmas I have that have to be answered first.

9. Make one (1) IRL friend around my age that is actually in local meatspace. Part of getting over chronic detachment from and disaffection towards people at large is making conscious effort to connect with people. This one might be mitigated by covid and/or zuckerberg shenanigans.

Video call went great - the anxiety that arose before and after it, not so much. I’ve sidestepped around my insecurities about attachment for a long while now, but I doubt I’ll make any significant progress if I don’t confront them. This is going to suck.