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[Il Palazzo]

Wait, what about cars means God can't help us anymore?

There are other informative prophecies in the Bible. For example, you can learn that David Hasselhoff is the AntiChrist.

And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns

The Beast, of course, is David Hasselhoff. The Heads are His separate television incarnations. Young and the Restless, Revenge of the Cheerleaders, Knight Rider, Terror at London Bridge, Ring of the Musketeers, Baywatch and Baywatch Nights.
The ten horns represent His musical releases: Crazy For You, David, David Hasselhoff, Do You Love Me?, Du, Everybody Sunshine, I Believe, Looking For Freedom, Night Lover and Night Rockers.
Not only does Mitch The Lifeguard literally "rise out of the sea" on Baywatch, but David's musical career has mostly occurred in Europe, a metaphoric rise to fame from across the sea.

[Leafsnail]

Hey, I didn't say it was a bad thing.  If technology can fight God in that manner, perhaps one day we could harness His energy and use it as a power source.

[Il Palazzo]

And on that day, God appeared before the sons of Adam and said: "I am thy Lord!"
And the sons of Adam jumped Him and handcuffed Him, and put Him in a cage of Iron, where He is forced to ride a bicycle attached to a power generator, thus providing electricity for the whole world, else He is denied His daily rations of prayers.

[ECrownofFire]

And on that day, God appeared before the sons of Adam and said: "I am thy Lord!"
And the sons of Adam jumped Him and handcuffed Him, and put Him in a cage of Iron, where He is forced to ride a bicycle attached to a power generator, thus providing electricity for the whole world, else He is denied His daily rations of prayers.

But if he escapes, it will be a deus ex machina.

[Shade-o]

I don't believe that that could happen.

[Urist is dead tome]

And on that day, God appeared before the sons of Adam and said: "I am thy Lord!"
And the sons of Adam jumped Him and handcuffed Him, and put Him in a cage of Iron, where He is forced to ride a bicycle attached to a power generator, thus providing electricity for the whole world, else He is denied His daily rations of prayers.

This just got the Urist seal of approval.

[Andir]

I don't believe that that could happen.

Sure it can, God created for himself a bicycle generator that he himself cannot escape.

[Urist is dead tome]

I was thinking a while ago that the quote by J-sus "I have not come to abolish the old law, but to fulfill it."

I think a possible interpretation of that quote would be that Christians were the intended end result of Judaism.

[Leafsnail]

From a Christian perspective, yes, obviously.

[Zrk2]

From the Jewish view though, they are just misguided souls that need to be brought back, because they have blasphemed by declaring a prophet to be the Lord.

[Max White]

Wow, I just posted in the wrong thread, what happened there?

[Askot Bokbondeler]

This just got the Urist seal of approval.

don't you mean this?

And on that day, G-d appeared before the sons of Ad-m and said: "I am thy L-rd!"
And the sons of Ad-m jumped H-m and handcuffed H-m, and put H-m in a cage of Iron, where H- is forced to ride a b-cycle attached to a p-wer g-nerator, thus providing el-ctricity for the whole w-rld, else H- is denied H-s daily r-tions of pr-yers.

[Urist is dead tome]

This just got the Urist seal of approval.

don't you mean this?

And on that day, G-d appeared before the sons of Ad-m and said: "I am thy L-rd!"
And the sons of Ad-m jumped H-m and handcuffed H-m, and put H-m in a cage of Iron, where H- is forced to ride a b-cycle attached to a p-wer g-nerator, thus providing el-ctricity for the whole w-rld, else H- is denied H-s daily r-tions of pr-yers.

I don't worship a bike.

[Askot Bokbondeler]

even if it is the holy bike the lord pedals to generate energy for the entire world? it's atleast as sacred as the cross and the shroud of turin

[Zrk2]

The whole idea of relics is stupid. It really couldn't be holy just because it touched Jesus.