Just watched Under Siege for the first time in a long time, because it was handy.
Reminded immediately of one of the biggest plot-holes (or strangenesses) that it has. For the audience, clearly the 'stripper' (Miss July 1980-whatever?) was a Ms. Fanservice, like the inexplicable bit with 'Cueball' shaping-some-moves[1] is avjarring bit of Down-Wid-Da-Kids-service. But for the mercenaries..?
I mean, her presence was likely additional inducement for more than just gourmet-pizza-lovers to attend the mock celebration. If you're bringing over a small army disguised as waiters and band-members, it would only be a more modern (or forward-looking) film that might have a suitable femme-fetale-for-hire who doesn't mind playing her party-part up until the point it turns out that she does like guns and will kill people (on a more enlightened modern navy ship, she may well even be eventually bitch-stomped by the mousey female crewmember who becomes part of the rag-tag team of heroic fight-backers). But here they decide that their faux-party needs an actual genuine pin-up-girl as part of their cover, and one that they don't take into their concidence (it is implied that the Colm Meaney character is pay-master/recruiter with deep pockets who could surely find someone who will fulfill the purpose of tits-for-hire but willingly fit in with the rest of the plan, or at least enough of it how they might explain it).
They don't even need her to do her actual cake-thing (Birthday Boy is to be killed in his cabin), which then makes her superfluous to the take-over. And, it appears, they completely forget about her!. Not even told "sorry, gal, we're going to lock you in the fo'c'sle, too" (with a lot of frustrated sailors, of course, which sounds worse than the film would probably run with that idea). The (nearly) meticulous plan just goes ahead with every one of the mercs (all of whom came aboard on the very same rather cramped helicopter flight), and even the brains of the outfit (Jones, if not the technical subordinate who might well be too tech-focused) and on-site man Busey (who has already embraced the idea of everyone knowing that she's there, by doing his drag-bait-switch performance prior to going to the cabin) seem to have no care about whether there's any further need for her, never mind notice that she's not yet even moved.
They do discover her (temporarily, though she is rescued almost immediately) and one of the two people who might even have approached her agent and signed her contract (I get the impression that CM's character would have arranged all that, or at least be there as TLJ's fake persona sealed the deal) ends up forgetting about her right up to the moment he gets severe (and definitely ironic) lead-poisoning.
Now, I'm not saying this is a "good job fixing it, villain" situation. Without her brought along, I'm not sure how it would have gone for the hero... He wouldn't have to drag her around (as she carries his spare equipment) once she refuses to pie low in the locker, so maybe he would have just picked off more of the mooks that little bit quicker (not needing to double-back after getting the satellite phone set up, either), and he would still have had the opportunity to accumulate the rest of his siege-breaking assistants (though she was instrumental, by that point, of shaming the most reluctant member into actually doing something). Obviously, after attacking the sub she was extremely important, but that was a plot-point that many prior divergences (for want of her presence) could have so easily avoided. He could have managed to take out Colm, along the way, or the one lookout who had even seen him in the water in order to prompt Colm to be genre-savvy enough to anticipate his likely next point of appearance. If he hadn't had just ground his way through to the Big Bad encounter well before the sub sub-plot/plan ever became realised.
But, for a very thorough (and well prepared with contingencies) mission profile by the besiegers seems to have just totally failed to factor her in, beyond the period of subterfuge. They may not have been totally prepared to handle a cook with "additional skills" running loose (or even not, as I'm sure he'd have somehow slipped away before being fo'c'sled, had the grievances exhibited by the XO not arranged his unique opportunities to remain uncaught by the main trap), but they definitely did know/could predict that the woman they brought to the party was there. Somewhere. Even if overly drowsy (which wouldn't help her chances of being somehow the fly in their ointment, anyway).
Can you tell that I've thought this, once or twice before? A reasonable film (of its time), and one of the S.S. films that I'm not reluctant to rewatch, but this character is shoehorned in without much logic (even movie-logic) for a significant part of her place in the story...
[1] And book-ending the film by giving Casey a contribed dialogue reason to suddenly kiss Jordan as quickly as if she'd been a Spanish footballer!
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Topic: The Movie Discussion Thread! (Read 132292 times)