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« on: December 19, 2008, 03:30:05 pm »
Nah, your reports are great, Maggarg.
Says the guy about to dump 5,000 words onto the thread... just think of it as 5 pictures. ;-D
Executive summary: 6 months in, 1 dead dwarf, 1 kidnapped child, 1 goblin siege, lots of dead hostiles, a minor diplomatic incident and lots of pointless stuff built.
Report:
From the diary of Jools Crestwork, Duke Consort, Abbeyverse:
1st Granite 1065
Once more, the fortress is mine! After having had to lie low for a couple of years due to the arrival of the Queen, I am now in a position to rule this fortress once more and expand my personal wealth. This is largely due to the regrettable tragedy of the Queen's death - a death for which I have an unimpeachable alibi (I was off collecting a large gem at the time, which I had suddenly decided I owned, and I made sure several people saw me).
Sadly my position has been slightly undermined by the death of my wife (who I never really knew - it was just one of those aristocratic marriages where you marry some girl but only ever see her in an official capacity at some formal event). This means that Abbeyverse has been sent a replacement Duke and Duchess Consort - fortunately, they seem to have little interest in the day-to-day running of the fortress at the moment (aside from mandating the construction of truly stupid things), but I fear this may change.
For now, I have been brought in to take official control of the fortress for a year to try and stabilise it, and return to an era of past glories (like that wonderful year when we only got a couple of small goblin ambush squads). The populace are relatively happy, as a whole, but some of the nobles are stroppy and dedicate vast resources to building their own monuments, temples and other bizarre and pointless projects. I shall put an immediate end to this by issuing new work orders to resume work on The Weather Project, and for metalworkers to finish the iron cap on the Great Tower. I might also indulge the new King Consort by doing a little work on his Abbey , which seems to be some sort of temple to suicide... on one hand, given how often this fort changes hands it would be good to set a precedent of building things for other nobles; on the other, it is a huge use of resources, just to give him a place to jump off.
As a whole, the fortress seems stable and prosperous. The peasants are feckless and idle, as always, but we have several tonnes of food, plenty of booze and, surprisingly for a change, a reasonably competent military. Sadly the military seems to be largely composed of marksdwarves, requiring endless supplies of bolts for training purposes and defence, but I'd rather have the long-term logistical problem of keeping them supplied than the more immediate problem of being overrun by goblins. As a long-term project I might rearrange the squads and cross-train one group with warhammers, just so we have a more adaptable military.
Looking for immediate needs, there don't seem to be many. Planters are planting, growers growing, brewers brewing, we have several spare bedrooms to suit a variety of budgets, and the coffins in the mural to the south of the Peasants' Quarters are surprisingly empty. What's the use of an improvisational mural if the deterrent part is never used, eh? Of the nobles, one wants bucklers, the King Consort wants a better tomb (maybe the blighter will use it once he thinks its good enough) and of course we need another large gem.
Gaaaaaaaaah! I've just inspected the site for the Abbey! Someone's built it right on top of a beautiful pocket of magnetite - with nodes of native platinum in! I know we don't use all the tonnes of ore we already have, but my instincts as a dwarf feel this to be wasteful. Maybe we should just try digging out a bit of the ore there, make sure there's a nice big pit for fervent worshippers to leap into. I mean, its not like they're going to come and complain even if they do spot it on the way down...
Checking the workshop areas I find most to be in good order. We could do with some more hauling to clear the masons' workshops, and the clothiers need to be given jobs, but otherwise everything seems to be running smoothly. We even have a new Dyer's workshop or two that I never noticed before, and a special area set aside for the sole purpose of making bonobo leather items for our tax collector. Speaking of whom, she's currently going around in a pair of rather well-fitting dog leather trousers. Its very distracting when you're trying to get some work done.
Before I begin on my grand projects, there is a little tidying up that needs to be done. Specifically, the gathering of all the crap that lies in front of our fortress - mainly bolts and narrow clothing and armour. An odd combination. I shall have that seen to before I begin on major construction work. Meanwhile, I'll have all our goblin cages placed in the arena (if there's room). At some point someone can let them all out for training purposes or something.
OOC: Yeesh, 10FPS! What have you guys been building? This thing is slower than the Civil Service! It picks up to 14FPS later, but still...
2nd Granite, 1065
I remembered that we no longer have a Trade Depot, and ordered the construction of a new one. A Trade Depot that befits our wealth and status, built from something that will amaze and impress the visiting traders and nobles. Platinum bars should do.
3rd Granite, 1065
I checked the gates and found our kitten-based goblin ambusher detection system was missing, presumed eaten. I've put a pair of war dogs at the main gates, and am ordering some ropes placed outside the north gate.
7th Granite, 1065
One of our military has become an Axe Lord rather than a plain old Axedwarf. This is excellent news, we are further along the path to having a military full of Champions. I also checked the Guard assignments, and, noticing we were one Royal Guard too many and one Fortress Guard short, did a spot of reassigning.
14th Granite, 1065
I am beginning work on building up the tower of pumps for The Weather Project. It seems to have been disconnected for some reason (most likely diversion of power to the moat pumps, for short term emptying without needing to build more waterwheels). I have chosen to go for the more-waterwheels option instead, to keep the pump tower flooded - as it appears that failing to ensure that leads to annoying situations like trees growing in the space that's meant to be full of water. Not a sapling, which blocks nothing. A full-grown tree.
Not that having it flooded is necessarily any better - there's a blasted guppy on one of the upper storeys. Maybe we can make it rain fish on our enemies, instead of floods of water...
15th Granite, 1065
An elven diplomat is here. Hopefully he's here well in advance of the traders, our depot still isn't finished. I shall tell him where to shove his deals on not cutting down trees - we need an ever-greater supply of barrels, bins, pipes and corkscrews.
Later that day:
The caravan has joined the diplomat. They're carrying wood. I sense a strict quota on tree-felling might be among the diplomat's plans... apparently, they're complaining about a lack of a trade depot. We are technically working on it, but a mason on architecture duty is first clearing the site from all the junk that was left lying around in the old one. It may be some time...
17th Granite, 1065
A goblin snatcher has been spotted - dangling in a cage to the south of the outer wall. I've ordered it added to our arena cages... I've no idea what we're going to do with all of these blasted creatures.
The mason is still clearing the site for the new Trade Depot, poor bastard. There's still tons of crap there... like a Steel harp. Why on earth do we have a steel harp? Or a toy axe? Or so many anvils?
19th Granite, 1065
As expected, the elves offered us a 100 tree limit in return for... their good will. I got the new Duke to tell them to go and find someone else to impose arbitrary limits on. Its so much better to get these things blamed on other people.
Later that day:
Oh brilliant. Two dwarves have gone out to deal with the goblin snatcher in the cage trap - one to reload the trap, one to bring the cage to the arena. One of them is carrying a baby. What do you think they found, on their way to do their jobs? Yep. Another snatcher. Fortunately, when the two dwarves were activated into the military, while not managing to kill the goblin, they did manage to chase it in to another cage trap.
We might need a bigger arena at this rate.
23rd Granite, 1065
Damn. A kidnapper has made off with a child. Fortunately not one of mine, but I think we need more security... sadly that's a little difficult to organise out in the wilderness. I'll have to think of something.
24th Granite, 1065
A dwarf has been interrupted by an elephant whilst trying to load a cage trap. Where's Endok when you need him?
I need more large gems.
26th Granite, 1065
An ambush. Blasted goblins. They were spotted by the second chap trying to reload the southern cage trap. I'm ordering the melee squad on duty to go and pound some sense into the goblins, kill-or-cure style.
We lost the mechanic who spotted the goblins. Damn. Meanwhile they're busy butchering cows and camels that were following the mechanic, rather than assaulting the main entrance - a handy distraction allowing my Champions to get to them before they kill another dwarf.
It appears that the Champions are cheating at the new game of how-far-can-we-smash-the-goblin. Thob just sent a goblin wrestler flying through the air, only for Unib to "accidentally" get in the way of the airborne corpse. It was only a little way in front of a hill that would have obstructed it anyway, but I feel we need some rules in place to ensure fairness. Also I think we need to clarify how much of the goblin needs to be flying for it to count - Unib is really getting some good altitude and distance on goblin chunks, but I don't feel that should count on the main leaderboard.
The battle is over, after Thob splattered the last macegoblin against a nearby hill. I'm keeping them on duty for now, though, until some of the mess is cleared up and the cage traps reloaded.
Meanwhile, our platinum Trade Depot is finished. Shiny. The Elves are on their way, we need to dump some stuff in it to sell...
1st Slate, 1065
We've struck Cobaltite. I'm poking my maul traps to find out why they're not hitting the miners who come to tell me this.
2nd Slate, 1065
I woke up with a headache and a large bruise on my head. The traps are working again. I need a new helmet.
Later that day:
We've struck Fire Opal. I'm not buying this miner a new helmet.
9th Slate, 1065
We've traded with the Elves. We bought cages, barrels, booze, food, wood, bags, seeds, everything they had that was of any use to us. I let them keep their oversized clothing, and wooden weapons that won't hurt your target unless they get a splinter.
I've also stood down the melee squad. The landscape is mostly clear of junk now, aside from a few stray pieces, and of course bloodstains splattered everywhere.
15th Slate, 1065
I'm trying to please the King Consort by engraving his tomb to bring it up to a "Royal" standard, but its not easy. Even with plenty of masterwork engravings, it remains stubbornly at "Grand" standard. I've ordered all of it engraved, and if that doesn't work it'll be time for some stupidly valuable statues to be made from whatever metals we have lying around in large quantities (probably gold).
16th Slate, 1065
Migrants have arrived!
A Lye Maker (a Liar would have been more useful - I've put him on Masonry);
A Herbalist;
A Mason;
A Blacksmith;
An animal dissector (I want none of that nonsense in my fortress - you're a farmer now);
A Peasant.
That's all. Enough to keep us ticking over, anyway. Meanwhile, the King Consort is finally happy with his tomb, but has declined to immediately occupy it. I shall start work on the Abbey immediately.
20th Slate, 1065
I note with pleasure that someone has made one of the large gems I demanded. While they're working on the other one, they can make me a crossbow too.
23rd Slate, 1065
We have struck Pipe Opal. If they can cut a large gem out of it, fine. If not, there'll be trouble. Especially now we've struck Brown Zircon too.
2nd Felsite, 1065
One of the War dogs chained as guards at the entrance has died - of old age. Given that most of our casualties are to the unceasing waves of goblins assaulting us, this makes a nice change. In memory of the guard dog who so loyally protected our gates, I'll have his bones made into bolts for our marksdwarves to train with.
16th Felsite, 1065
A quiet fortnight is ended with the possession of a stoneworker. As if we don't already have a stupid amount of valuable trade goods lying around this place, now we'll probably get something new and useless that we can't even sell.
18th Felsite, 1065
The Duchess Consort has mandated the construction of certain goods. No change there then. Amazingly, though, she only wants a few bucklers, made out of anything that comes to hand. That's so amazingly reasonable, I might actually do it. Not out of bonobo leather though. I'm saving that for our lovely Tax Collector...
1st Hematite, 1065
Summer has arrived, and things are going smoothly. The underground farms seem to be getting left fallow by our planters, who are busy growing stuff out in the open air, but given our vast oversupply of food I don't see that as an issue. Reactivating it would be as simple as telling all our Planters to just farm the fields for a while (those that aren't now employed in the military). Our possessed stoneworker still hasn't gathered all he needs, but its looking awful already. Three lumps of mica, a cave lobster shell, a turtle shell, some rope reed cloth, a gold bar, some cave spider silk cloth, and some elephant leather have been gathered so far - that many things are always a sign of bad taste.
Later that day:
Perhaps my comments have been passed on. One last scrap of leather (cow this time) and our stoneworker has begun his work.
4th Hematite, 1065
Zutshoshstinthad, a mica idol. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encrusted with mica, decorated with turtle shell and rope reed, and encircled with bands of mica. This object is adorned with hanging rings of cave spider silk and menaces with spikes of mica, cave lobster shell, elephant leather and cow leather. On the item is an image of dwarves in gold. The dwarves are travelling. This artwork relates to the foundation of Abbeyverse by The Ordered Board of The Rag Of Suns in the early spring of 1051.
Sounds hideous. I don't want to go and have a look at it; I'll send someone else like the Duke for an official celebration of its construction.
10th Hematite, 1065
A human diplomat has arrived - far to the northeast, on the south bank. Maybe we can make some sort of trade deal if he actually makes it here past all the hostile animals...
11th Hematite, 1065
Speaking of hostiles... a vile force of darkness has arrived. We're under siege, again, and this time the cook is annoyingly not going save the day. So I guess we'll have to get the military to do it. I hope the marksdwarves we have are good enough.
We have two groups of goblins to the northwest, one to the southwest, and one to the northeast, on the south side of the river, all cavalry. I've ordered the north gate closed with immediate effect, and one group of marksdwarves onto the Bridge. From there they should be able to rain bolts upon the goblin invaders, none of whom have bows (so the Abbey area is safe).
The southern groups are more of a problem, having a bowgoblin or two. The main gate is staying open, but I've ordered the other marksdwarf squad and our melee squad to assemble there. We'll bottle them up and massacre them there, then turn and deal with the northern menace.
12th Hematite, 1065
The north gate is closed, and our Strike Team is assembling by the main gate. We're not ready yet, but we're getting there. The human diplomat is making a run for it around the south part of the outer wall - he ought to make it in time, but I'd rather have a Diplomatic Incident than have my plan go off half-cocked.
Diplomatic incident confirmed. The poor blighter got swarmed by the goblin cavalry sweeping up from the southwest, surrounded and torn apart in front of a beautiful mahogany tree. Such a sad incident. I like a nice piece of mahogany, and cleaning all the blood off it will take ages - especially if we can't get there soon, and the blood stains the wood.
You'll pay for this, you goblin bastards.
The goblins have been milling around their kill for a while, crowing over their victory, before finally grouping together and charging for entrance. Laugh it up, guys, while you were messing around we got a Swordsdwarf, two marksdwarves and a Wrestler to bolster our main gate defences (of two Champions and two marksdwarves) so I rather fancy our chances.
Well, apart from the chances of the Peasant and Mechanic that ran out to gather the human chunks. They're probably toast, even though the items are now forbidden.
There's a goblin marksman outside the entrance. Sod the plan of waiting for them. CHARGE! Oh, and make me a large gem while you're at it.
The battle against Group One is brief but bloody. Extremely bloody. That's one hell of a mess they've made outside the front gate. I thought hammerdwarves were meant to be cleaner... never mind. Our only casualties were the sniffer dogs at the entrance, and one now wounded Peasant who went out to pick up goblin chunks.
Now we charge the second group, the ones who came in chasing the diplomat. That'll secure the south bank, and then we can turn and deal with the northern menace.
The plan was to wait by the cage traps, and use them to thin the numbers a bit but Unib is charging straight at the goblins while Thob actually follows the plan, and the rest of the squad are either eating, sleeping, or so far behind that they'll never reach the goblins in time to join in. The marksdwarves are similarly useless, having failed to redeploy in time. It looks like this is going to be sorted the old fashioned way. Hammer Time!
Well, technically Unib is an axedwarf, but its the same basic principle.
There is a stain on the landscape. Goblin blood covers the land. The berries that grow there next year will be rich, but oh so poisonous. Unib charged into the goblin squad with such fury that he smashed straight through them, and after picking off the stragglers at the back, the bulk of the squad fled. Straight towards Thob. A few stragglers escaped, but not enough left to be called a unit.
The south side of the river is secure now. There are bodies in the moat, their blood running out to stain the river red. The goblins on the north side have made camp, waiting for us to open our gates. I'm ordering every living dwarf (who's in the military and not busy sleeping, or drinking, or nipping off to grab a *Dwarven sugar roast* while they're hot, or deciding that they just *have* to go and pick up some of the goblin bits or clothing and armour that doesn't fit) to mass on the bridge, before I open the gate. We end this here.
Our Champions are at the gate, Axe Lord and Swordsdwarf approaching, and marksdwarves swarming to their positions. It'll take the goblins a few minutes to get here anyway. We're ready. Open the gates!
They've seen us. They're coming. One marksdwarf decides that this is the perfect time to nip off for lunch. Fine. We can manage without him. I would not wish one marksdwarf more! The fewer dwarves, the greater share of honour! The smaller the squad that fights off the goblin hordes from the north, the less competition I get when looting the corpses, looking for any large gems they happen to have brought with them. For today is St. Bomrek's Day, and any dwarf who survives this day, and returns safely to the fortress, shall henceforth stand tall as a man when this day comes again, and proclaim that he was here. That he fought the goblin hordes as they swarmed up from the south. That he crossed the bridge, weapon held high, and as the gates opened charged upon the northern horde, the goblin invaders, that band of buggers. And all who hide in the safety of the fortress shall feel themselves cursed, that they missed out on this opportunity to murder and steal from the raiders from the north, on this, St. Bomrek's Day! Charge!
The day is ours. The goblin hordes flee - rather fortuitously, as Udib, leader of the melee squad, has declared that he's rather tired and would rather sleep than kill goblins - and this has resulted in everyone abandoning their posts and nipping off on their own errands. Our gates are unprotected, but the goblins care not. I feel the military have earned this rest, and have stood the squads down for now.
Hopefully they'll get the hint and go and get drunk while I check the corpses for valuables.
25th Hematite, 1065
Not a damned thing of value... other than unwearable clothing that we can flog to idiots, and a few weapons. I've ordered it all brought in by others; there's nothing out there that's worth me bothering with. I've also replaced the sniffer dogs at the gates - amazingly, not all of them were killed, so that's only three more war dogs to find. As per usual, to honour their sacrifice for the fortress, we'll turn their bones into bolts and shoot them at goblins and archery targets. Same deal the goblins get, actually, though somehow for us to do it to them makes it the ultimate insult rather than honouring a dead pet.
I don't understand the military mind. I'm just going to focus on civilian affairs for a bit and hope that we don't get any more goblins for a while. At least we didn't get any prisoners; the arena is already densely packed with cages, and we can't fit many more in...
27th Hematite, 1065
What? Apparently, no-one even considered making the journey to such a death trap as our fortress. This makes no sense. The only deaths since the last wave of immigrants have been a stupid human, a few war dogs, and a double handful of goblins and their beak dogs. That can't count - it just means that we have a ruthlessly efficient military!
In other news, it appears we should have two competitions for the military. One for hammerdwarves, for the furthest a goblin can be knocked flying (with a two yard bonus if the goblin explodes on impact) and a second, for dwarves using bladed weapons, for the highest altitude a chunk or body part can be sent flying. This second one was inspired by a brief visit to the North Gate to supervise the cleanup operation, where I spotted some goblin limbs hanging from the trees. They'll be a hell of a job to get down... I think I'll just leave them there. If they last until the winter, they'll look very festive.
11th Malachite, 1065
Much of the ground floor of the Abbey is complete. I shall wait until more of the goblin junk has been gathered before designating a new load of construction, however - and possibly for a bit more work on the tower of pumps for The Weather Project.
Some of the goblins are beginning to rot nicely into raw materials for ammunition, and the beak dogs that are still reasonably fresh are being butchered into meat, fat and leather. However, it appears that some of our citizens are wearing little more than rags, so I've ordered more clothes to be made. Hopefully we have enough dyed cloth now.
16th Malachite, 1065
In order to occupy the engravers, I've ordered the corridor outside my rooms (and, coincidentally, those of our lovely Tax Collector) engraved with suitable images. I've asked them to focus on images of goblins, so I can enjoy stomping over them in mud, blood and vomit covered boots - before ordering some peasant to clean it all up, obviously.
Also our miners are starting to become unoccupied. I could order them to dig out some giant nodes of coloured stone, or something... or I could try and get them to dig out something useful, like a new dining room. I'll get some new spaces dug out in the surface layers while I have their attention, before designating a new strip-mining project in order to keep them out of my hair for a while.
17th Malachite, 1065
The images being engraved seem to feature a lot of images of a chap called "Keldor" being elected to leadership of the fortress. I'm not sure I like that. Where are all the images of ME?
24th Malachite, 1065
Now the Duke wants bucklers. Why can't everyone like big, useful shields, instead? Or wooden barrels? Or bone crossbow bolts? Never mind, I'll have his blasted bucklers made.
8th Galena, 1065
We've got a couple of handy new spaces for stockpiles and an unnecessarily large dining room... while they're getting smoothed and engraved, I shall designate a new strip mining project to keep the miners busy. I think they're getting vertigo, this close to the surface.
Mining designation complete. One level below the previous project. There are a few existing tunnels but they'll merely be used for access to the new digging areas. As per usual, every part of the rock will be exposed, and anything valuable will be dug out for use in... well, I don't quite know what, yet, but that's not the point.
OOC: Slowing from a regular 14 FPS to 10. I smell goblins... or possibly someone going slightly over the top on mining designations...
10th Galena, 1065
The Tax Collector has just decided that she owns a narrow bonobo leather robe that was lying outside the main gate, carelessly dropped by its former owner. It'll never fit her. Does she *have* to claim every single item in the fortress that was ever made from bonobo leather? It isn't as if she even likes bonobos!
13th Galena, 1065
Microcline. Fire opals. I'm now regretting telling the bastards to dig in the first place.
14th Galena, 1065
Bah. The Duchess Consort wants Adamantine items. I tried telling her... she's unhappy already though. I might need to speed up work on that Abbey to the god of suicide...
1st Limestone, 1065
Autumn is here, and we've struck a load more stuff in the mining project - gems, gold, cobaltite, tetrahedrite, that sort of thing. It appears to be going well. Work is beginning on the second level of the Abbey - slowly but surely, it is rising from the ground - rather the opposite of what Rakust's devotees will be doing from it. The Tower has more ironwork in place at the top, the pump tower is growing upwards, and all seems to be going well. Hopefully we can get a bit more work done in the rest of the year, without any more goblin onslaughts.
